i'd like to propose a toast

I posted this on my myspace blog like a year ago.. re-read it the other day & decided I still like it- which is rare for me. Raise your glasses, I'd like to propose a toast.
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Here's to pretending like everything is okay; when we all know it isn't. To the cracks in the foundations of the relationships we attempt to create. To staying up late and sleeping half the day away. To wondering when you'll see him next. To wishing for that person to call, and checking your phone every ten minutes to see if they have. To sitting for hours and listening to loud music, hoping it will make everything go away. To wanting to be wanted. To the paper thin walls of a home where you wonder when the yelling will stop. To always knowing you are more perceptive than they think you are. To wishing for a fairy tale ending, but believing in a lonely one. To holding back tears when you think you may never see them again. To smiling to encourage someone else, even when you are devastated inside. To those few fleeting moments when all is right with the world. To wishing you had more to offer. To feeling like you are loved; even when it doesn't last very long. To talking on the phone until 3 in the morning. To wondering who would cry at your funeral. To trying not to cry at others'. To empty bottles of wine and wilted roses. To feeling like you should have been born somewhere else. To trying to reach someone with what you create, and never succeeding. To wishing that you could just say something right. To being there whenever you are needed, but being afraid to call on them when you need something. To the one who makes you weak at the knees. To always dreaming of more than you know you will ever get. To looking forward to seeing that person all day, and then not knowing what to say when you see them. To the family you wish you had. To letting your mind waste away on pointless comedy sitcoms. To wondering if anyone ever wishes you would get online, just so they could talk to you. To saving things that are useless, just because they remind you of happier times. To dreaming of a brighter day. To the moments we share together, making connections, and hoping that the person you dream of will someday love you back. To candlelit dinners, and moonlit walks. To staying up all night; just to see the sunrise. To those girls who change who they are to try and fit in. To always chasing the love that eludes you, and taking for granted the love that is right in front of you. To painful goodbyes and happy hellos. To a bouquet of flowers that wither away next to a gravestone. To the moments when you can forget everything and are truly blissful. To forgiveness. To the emotional walls we build for ourselves, and to the people who care enough to tear them down. To facing the hours, day after day. To letting someone in. To staying angry for no reason, just so you have something to feel. To conventionality, and standing up against it. To believing in reform. And to that day, when you finally get up the courage to tell him you love him and he asks what took you so long.