jolly good

I bought a top hat yesterday. And that is something I think I should bring everyone's attention to. Then Erin and I went to get pizza with Jamie and her boyfriend, Matthew, and haggled the man at a pizza place to give us basically a bigger pizza with added toppings for less money. And it totally happened. And we didn't even have to try very hard. AND the man assumed we were twins because we had to confer with each other on everything, including what we each wanted to drink. It was fun. Jamie was ashamed of my top hat but I was quite pleased with it so BOO YAH. And today is going to be great.

..and there is more blog brewing in my mind but there's no time for all that now.

Have a lovely day, all.
<3

a pleasure cruise;

I would just like to announce to the corner of the world that reads this blog that today I bought tickets to a movie I am ashamed to be going to see (coughECLIPSEcough), bought a t-shirt from Walmart with the brand name, I kid you not, 'George' .. and drove the wrong way on a one way street. Luckily I did not die. But I did laugh.
Now I'm going to make myself a chicken taco salad because I need to use up this lettuce and then study media law all evening.. with breaks of course to play frontierville. Life is good.

last night; i had a dream

So I had this ridiculous dream last night...

I dreamed that I received an email from this youtube semi-celebrity vlogger (that I used to kind of know when I used to kind of make videos). So basically, he emailed me about going to be on some radio show that John Barrowman was going to be on.. and I think Kristin Chenoweth was involved too but I never actually saw her in the dream. So, me and a bunch of other people were in a car on the way to this radio show.. and all of a sudden it was John Barrowman driving the car and not the vlogger dude. So John Barrowman was taking us to be on some radio show.. but then all of a sudden the story changed and John Barrowman was the HOST of a radio show and he had written 2 letters the previous day in order to bring us all onto some other, more popular radio show.
But then we were in this greenhouse slash museum slash maze building. And John Barrowman was giving us a tour and showing us all there was to see in this museum-y place. And he was being really loud and obnoxious, and was waving hello to everyone and giving literal shout-outs to the museum employees- who he somehow knew all of. SO we went through this museum and then we got to the other side of it (which means that then we had to turn around and find our way back to the front- again, it was kind of a maze). However, then Sarai was there, and we all decided that we were hungry and wanted to go to the food court. Somehow I ended up leading the way, and Sarai said the food court was one way and I said it was the other... but John Barrowman followed me so we went my way, and then we were at the food court, and Sarai congratulated me for remembering how to get there.
So we got food- I think we were having Asian food- and it was a lot of fun... having some Asian food with John Barrowman.

Then suddenly I am in my bedroom and Erin is there and we are rolling around on the floor and Sarai is sitting on my bed and then we found this sword that we assumed belonged to Erica (who was not there) and then we pulled it out of its case thing and were discussing the benefits of having a sword for self defense purposes. THEN John Barrowman busts in and grabs my hand and takes me to either Walmart or Target, and we are hanging out and stuff and looking at useless items and all of a sudden I realized that John Barrowman and I were basically BFFs now and therefore I would have to buy him a Christmas present. So I slipped away from him and was looking at possible gifts, and I decided that the most appropriate thing to get him would be a megaphone. So, with that resolved, suddenly Barrowman and I were transported to CFRT in Fayetteville, where they were in a tech rehearsal for BCPE. John Barrowman was apparently going to make a guest appearance in the show as a gym teacher, and would be able to use the megaphone. Fantastic.

And that was basically all I got to in the dream.. but now I like John Barrowman even more, because he was my dream bff. I woke up grinning because of this. :)

inconceivable that we ever part;

If love in fact means that we are branches of the same tree
one and not two
then this tree is spectacularly intertwined
our roots reached toward each other under the ground
groping in desperation to bridge the gap of hate and self-destruction
reaching for something safe & new
if the roots of my tree are yours, where do new roots go as my tree grows?
my oldest roots belong to my past and remain there
and the newest are yours
but my future roots belong to the future
in the darkness we were there
both of us
all of us
anxiously spinning and gazing and wishing someone was there
but we were all there
we just could not see each other
so we had to move closer
we had to risk
we had to let our roots grow and expand and dig through the mud and ash and rocks and debris
but finally our roots found each other
they were doubtful at first
wondering if they were really touching the roots of another
but hesitantly we held on
and as time passed we noticed the hold getting stronger
that our roots were actually growing together and thickening
slowly pushing away the dirt and mud and debris and ash
giving us the strength to let our branches grow
and reach
at first we were
unsure
unsteady
wondering
but now our branches blow in the wind
able to grab onto other trees
strengthen them
let our leaves brush each other with encouragement
and let our branches intertwine with the others
and slowly
sometimes
our roots as they grow
can push away more dust and debris and ash and hopelessness
and reach out to the roots of other trees
until we are a fleet
and web
an army of strength and power and determination and will
and you will not tear us down
lightning may strike
storms may come
rain may fall
but in the darkness we hold on tighter
we reach to each other
we move closer
we soak up the rain and let it help us grow
help us move forward
because we are not alone.

We were never alone.

and our hope in each other lies in the faith we have in the most high
his love for us allows us to love each other
without this love we are nothing
and without it our roots would never grow
and our leaves would wither
and our blossoms would fall to the ground
but together
with the strength of each other
we blow in the breeze
and we flourish and bloom.

sometimes a branch may fall
or a root may snap
and the safety we thought we found is not safe at all
but that is when the trees around you hold on tighter
the grasp you have on them doesn't matter
because they hold you so tightly you cannot even waiver
and you find yourself strong
able to continue growing despite the soreness you have

but eventually the forest fire will come
and it will destroy us
or so it believes
but even then
even when all that is left of us is ash
our ashes will mix as they fall to the ground
and even then
even at our end
no one will separate us
because our link
our hold
is eternal.

“Love is a temporary madness; you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of eternal passion. That is just being in love, which any fool can do. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Those that truly love have roots that grow towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossoms have fallen from their branches, they find that they are one tree and not two.”
-Louis de Bernieres

ridin' solo

North Carolina gets wayyyyy too hot in the summer. This is one of the many reasons I am looking forward to moving to NYC. Life without humidity will be fantastic.

Also I have decided that one of the things I REALLYYY want to do when I live in NYC is visit Carlo's Bakery (yes, the one from TLC's 'Cake Boss') and get a pastry. Because I love that show and those people. They are so.. New Yorkish! I love it!
And those pastries look FANTASTIC.

I need to make an NYC to do list. :)

This week has not nearly been as "boring" as I assumed it would be. And next week will be fun, because lots of fun stuff is happening.
So basically this weekend is the only time that has the potential to be agonizingly lonely. UNLESS Erin is here.. which we are not sure about yet. BUT if she is not here then I plan to force myself to study media law like a mofo.
I've been doing a pretty good job (I think) of staying on top of it, but I am still really worried about getting it all in my head for the test. We shall see how that goes.

Buh.

Doctor Who companionship :)

Susan
Take Which Doctor Who companion are you? (girls) today!

You're Susan!

For a fugitive from your own people, you're one of the most innocent of the companions, probably because your grandfather is so protective of you. You bring out the tenderness behind the Doctor's bluster and occasional coldness. You are implicitly trusting of the Doctor, no matter what he gets you and the others into, and your confidence in him helps others rally around him, too. Your sweetness and fondness for humans is the legacy you leave him even after you move on.

YANA

You forget that, in the dark, we must move closer together in order to see each other. You were never alone.
<3

applies to applies;

I don't know why I feel the need to update this so often with my actual life... but I do. I have just had a fantastic evening playing Apples to Apples with cool people and now I am going to bed soonish because I am going home tomorrow to cook dinner for my parents for Father's Day.
I have a callback style job interview scheduled for Tuesday, which is quite promising, and I have a cute outfit picked out for tomorrow... Now, if I can just think of what to wear with my yellow earrings we'll be good to go. ;)
I was also just given not one but TWO amazing back rubs by Cat & Sarai... and life is good. :)

But I miss Erin. Like a mofo. =[[

I wanna fly, I wanna drive, I wanna go;

The one thing I like about taking media law at this point in my life is that the class is at 1:15pm.. so technically I don't have to wake up till noon. But instead I wake up at 11ish, get dressed, eat food, chill, put on makeup, watch tv... I like having chill mornings like this. :)

I have a job interview today, and I am wearing my pink silk v-neck top, floral print skirt (which is cuter than it sounds but I don't like it much), a giant baby pink flower on my head, and my silver sandals. I'm hoping that at the very least I will make an impression.. but, actually, I REALLY NEED THIS JOB. Because no one else has called me back and I NEED MONNEEYYYYY.

BAH! We just had a power surge or something and my tv turned off & I was watching WNTW. But then it was fine. lol.

I miss Erinnnnn! We haven't had a texting conversation in many many days and I miss it.

AND! Sarai & Natalie (my roommates) are both going out of town soon and I will be here ALL ALONE and I will be so sad & lonely & forget how to socialize. But perhaps their absence, and less distraction, will allow me to learn a lot of media law and clean my room and do laundry and buy skirts and pants and learn to cook some new things and plan Sarai's birthday party... I think I can do it. We shall see how this goes.

Happy Friday!

mawwage.

You know, I really do not want to get married.
I just have no desire to.
You may think that this is my like.. my need to be unique talking
but it really isn't.
At least not right now.

At this point, I don't even have the desire to even leisurely pursue dating anyone. Like, what would be the point? This summer is fine & dandy, but I am going to be busy as a MOFO next year and then I will have a hectic summer of preparation and then I am MOVING TO NYC! :D

After that, who knows what will happen.

But honestly, I am complete enough on my own
with the help of Jesus
and the help of my INCREDIBLE friends
that I don't need a man.

They are nice to look at, but hard to deal with.
And I do not want to get married, ever.
I just want to live in NYC and tend bar and maybe work at some PR firm and maybe try to become a theatre critic.. or like.. a Broadway blogger or something. I just want to live a full & happy life and I refuse to chase after a man to live that life with me. Because that is absolutely unnecessary.

I love my current life and I love my future life even more.
And if Erin gets married to David Tennant, I'll just take care of the cats and cook for them and live in their attic like a creeper. ;)

addendum;

Just as an after thought,
my last post was not about a man or a romantic interest of any kind I'll have you know.

Because it really is easier to just have friends that you're desperately in love with.

<3

the nights we stay up laughing;

A little part of me disappears when you're gone...
without you my flavor's a little plain.
Sometimes I feel like this is weird
because I have not known you for long...
but the people who came before you,
They still matter as much
but with you there is a new love
new new love.
Pure, hilarious, perfect, tell me anything, hold me closer,
abundance of laughter, make me crazy without you,
utmost respect, do anything for you,
jealous of everyone else love.

I adore you.
And that is a word I don't use often.
Adoration.
That's like love plus admire plus want to be near all the time.

We make our way dreaming you & I
we are too crazy
in love.

I long for the day when we no longer have to say goodbye
when we can hold hands and walk through the streets singing
never letting go
free and unafraid
taking control of the world like its all we have to hold onto
our dreams will come true
...
& we will be a dream.

The difference between me before you & me after you is that before I knew who I was but I had no idea where I was going.
Now I know where I am going, and I know that I will have your hand in mine all the way there.

Remember when that lady from that show we hate that's now over said that her character & that guy who never died but we always thought should were just not each other's purpose in life & that's why they didn't end up together?
Well.
You are my purpose in life.

One day you said "Don't ever leave me,"
And whether it was in jest over our commonality of not liking to turn the heat on or not,
I never will.

You are my ray of sunshine;
and me without you is no longer an option.
It never could have been,
and never could be,
I love you forever
and I miss you all the time.

Less than a year.

don't talk to me;

This is really annoying.

I don't like being ignored
I just
gah

I probably should not be this bothered
but its bothersome

because your words and your actions don't match

and frankly,
I need you too.

I don't like to have to sit here and wonder what may or may not be said about me when you laugh and don't tell me what's so funny.
Just stop

I hate this

I know I am probably being an idiot and overthinking but
really

you can't throw me around and treat me like I'm nothing and string me along...
but I guess you can.
Because I have let you.

We could be a dream.
I just don't know anymore.

Pick me
choose me
love me

I'm as pathetic as Meredith Grey.

inhale

Basically, I am pissed as hell for various reasons.
To start out, I had a professor/grade issue yesterday that's basically causing me to accept a lower grade in a class than I deserve, because the other option was to take an incomplete in the class for the rest of the summer, do an additional assignment, and then have my grade increased. Now, that seems like an ok plan, but guess what? I cannot afford to have that on my transcript for ANY period of time because it counts numerically as an F. Thus, it would lower my GPA to the point where the J-school would eat my face.
So that sucks.

And then I find out that Stacy London (whom I love and admire a lot despite this) is no longer able to follow fans like me on twitter, so she unfollowed all of us, and so now we can't send her direct messages anymore. So basically it just really sucks that whatever happened to cause this happened. Buh. I am going to miss her.

AND THEN I find out that apparently my cell phone online account LIED and that I indeed do NOT have unlimited texting, but only 400 per month- incoming & outgoing. Which is flippin ridiculous. So now I am basically going to have my parents just get us a new plan because right now we're using the same stupid OLD plan that we've had since before I ever really used texting..and now its my primary mode of communication with my primary bffs. So, basically I need it. And I need it for real reasons too.. like when I am in a rehearsal and have to contact a cast member and need to be in the rehearsal so NO I CANNOT STEP OUTSIDE AND CALL THEM. BAH. I need this new plan immediately. But I have enough texting left for this billing cycle that I think I will be ok and won't go through too much withdrawal. So that is the situation at hand.


..But Erin will be here soon.
Jamie and Sarai are here now.
We are going shopping today.
I am cooking good food for dinner.
And we are going stargazing tonight.

So life is good.

Exhale.

lift me up

Down & out is overrated;
I need to be elevated.
Looking up is not enough; No,
I would rather rise above.
<3

give a little bit;

Oh sure, some people give a little bit each day. But there are one or two special souls who, when you least expect it, give an entire life's worth all at once.

That is a lovely quote.

I want to be one of those people.
I want to be someone who people trust enough to come to in a time of need.
Someone who will drop everything and come running to your side.
Someone who gives up everything they need to just be near you.
Because it really doesn't matter what I have to give up
or what I've supposedly got to lose
because none of it matters
compared to you.

:)

posterous

Yet another bloggish thing I have:
http://manhattanfromthesky.posterous.com/

I plan to make it for more concrete, real life happenings for people I know.
But its open to the public, so enjoy. :)

airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars;

I need to start blogging more, but I never really seem to have a lot to talk about. lol

Jamie comes back from England today!!
But Erin is also leaving for Paris..
and Leigh is still in Europe somewhere..

WHYYY is everyone so multi-cultural when I am stuck in summer school?!