I am pretty frustrated with basically every aspect of my life right now.
Sunday, July 29, 2012
Saturday, July 28, 2012
i still see your ghost;
Well it is the weekend again.
Time has been going by REALLY fast for me lately... and at the same time it feels like I've lived in NYC a lot longer than 2 months and that Europe was SOO long ago and college & Panera were like.. a decade ago.
Why is that.
Anyway, here's a follow up to my previous post about the cat-calling.
A guy in a car literally rolled down his window at SEVEN THIRTY IN THE MORNING yesterday and made KISSY NOISES AT ME. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. Stop it. I hate you. I wanted to flick him off but I'm always afraid to flick off the men who do this because I don't want them to come after me.. especially because I am always by myself.
And THEN I was in Midtown West looking for the cast of SVU (lol what is my life) and I was on a corner waiting to cross a street. It was bright and I put on my $5 sunglasses and this asshole dude is like "I like your shades. I like your style." I just made a whatever-ish face and said nothing. He walked past and as I turned to look at the traffic I caught him STARING at me and then he said something along the lines of "Don't pretend you don't like that" or something.. I couldn't really understand what he said, but I wanted to punch him in the face.
Why does this happen to me?? I don't dress provocatively AT ALL. Like yesterday I was wearing jeans and a normal cotton shirt with a vaguely floral print, and a black cami under it to make it more modest for work. Wtf.
Maybe its because I am always by myself that this happens. I have no idea. But I hate it.
On to better things.
Smash and SVU were both filming on location yesterday, rather near each other actually! So of course I went because one of my favorite things to do is look at celebrities stop judging me you know you like it too.
So Smash. They were filming quite close to Times Square, so of course one million people kept stopping to look. One girl was walking by, saw Megan Hilty, and SCREAMED. Hilarious. I am not a HUGE Megan fan, but I do like her- she's SO talented. I was hoping to see Debra Messing... I am not sure if it actually was her, but I saw someone from behind who MAY have been her. haha. Megan was definitely there though. And of course they had people like standing on the perimeter waving people past... I'm sorry but you are filming a tv show that lots of teenage girls really like, and you don't expect people to stop and watch?!? YOU ARE IN THE THEATRE DISTRICT. TOURISTS ARE EVERYWHERE. Get over it! haha. I mean I realize its bothersome but... that's how it is yo. Its not like anyone was like yelling at the actors or anything!
Anyway. SVU was filming in Midtown West, a quick walk from there. I found Mariska's trailer, which a few young girls were standing kind of near. I hung out, and they said that she was definitely in there. After a lot of standing, she came out wearing this long purple dress and hair was up (SO pretty) and yelled for a wardrobe person. Someone went in there with her and a few minutes later August (Mariska's son, who is probably like 7 now but could easily pass for 4. HE IS SO SMALL.) came out.. not sure where he thought he was going but some dude quickly made him go back inside. Later, Peter and August came outside, followed by Mariska who was now wearing her trademark black pants and green blouse. She said goodbye to Peter and August and proceeded to yell "BYE SWEET ANGEL" and "LOVE YOUUU" to them as they walked hand in hand down the street. It was really cute, and exactly the Mariska I expected to see. She took a picture of them on her phone, which was just adorable, and Peter kept looking back at her and smiling (probably because he didn't want to yell back haha). When she turned to walk to the set, one of the girls who had been waiting a lot longer than me asked for a picture and Mariska said, "Sure! Walk with me." Well, me and all the other girls took that as an invitation as well, and so then a huge mass of us were walking down the block together. She paused briefly to take a picture with that girl and then this little dude with her was like "We're late to the set" so basically they had to go without the rest of us getting a change to talk to her.
It was cool despite that though. Mariska is GORGEOUS in person by the way. Like.. WOW pretty. And SO tall. That woman is fabulous.
-------------------------------------------------------
Update: Today I randomly ran into Cassandra on the street!! It was lovely to see her and totally brightened my day because I have zero friends.
And I also got a skirt at Loft for only $14!! Holler. It was kind of humid and threatening rain all day but I always enjoy walking around the city so today was good.
Current song obsession: Some Nights by Fun... SO GOOD.
Time has been going by REALLY fast for me lately... and at the same time it feels like I've lived in NYC a lot longer than 2 months and that Europe was SOO long ago and college & Panera were like.. a decade ago.
Why is that.
Anyway, here's a follow up to my previous post about the cat-calling.
A guy in a car literally rolled down his window at SEVEN THIRTY IN THE MORNING yesterday and made KISSY NOISES AT ME. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. Stop it. I hate you. I wanted to flick him off but I'm always afraid to flick off the men who do this because I don't want them to come after me.. especially because I am always by myself.
And THEN I was in Midtown West looking for the cast of SVU (lol what is my life) and I was on a corner waiting to cross a street. It was bright and I put on my $5 sunglasses and this asshole dude is like "I like your shades. I like your style." I just made a whatever-ish face and said nothing. He walked past and as I turned to look at the traffic I caught him STARING at me and then he said something along the lines of "Don't pretend you don't like that" or something.. I couldn't really understand what he said, but I wanted to punch him in the face.
Why does this happen to me?? I don't dress provocatively AT ALL. Like yesterday I was wearing jeans and a normal cotton shirt with a vaguely floral print, and a black cami under it to make it more modest for work. Wtf.
Maybe its because I am always by myself that this happens. I have no idea. But I hate it.
On to better things.
Smash and SVU were both filming on location yesterday, rather near each other actually! So of course I went because one of my favorite things to do is look at celebrities stop judging me you know you like it too.
So Smash. They were filming quite close to Times Square, so of course one million people kept stopping to look. One girl was walking by, saw Megan Hilty, and SCREAMED. Hilarious. I am not a HUGE Megan fan, but I do like her- she's SO talented. I was hoping to see Debra Messing... I am not sure if it actually was her, but I saw someone from behind who MAY have been her. haha. Megan was definitely there though. And of course they had people like standing on the perimeter waving people past... I'm sorry but you are filming a tv show that lots of teenage girls really like, and you don't expect people to stop and watch?!? YOU ARE IN THE THEATRE DISTRICT. TOURISTS ARE EVERYWHERE. Get over it! haha. I mean I realize its bothersome but... that's how it is yo. Its not like anyone was like yelling at the actors or anything!
Anyway. SVU was filming in Midtown West, a quick walk from there. I found Mariska's trailer, which a few young girls were standing kind of near. I hung out, and they said that she was definitely in there. After a lot of standing, she came out wearing this long purple dress and hair was up (SO pretty) and yelled for a wardrobe person. Someone went in there with her and a few minutes later August (Mariska's son, who is probably like 7 now but could easily pass for 4. HE IS SO SMALL.) came out.. not sure where he thought he was going but some dude quickly made him go back inside. Later, Peter and August came outside, followed by Mariska who was now wearing her trademark black pants and green blouse. She said goodbye to Peter and August and proceeded to yell "BYE SWEET ANGEL" and "LOVE YOUUU" to them as they walked hand in hand down the street. It was really cute, and exactly the Mariska I expected to see. She took a picture of them on her phone, which was just adorable, and Peter kept looking back at her and smiling (probably because he didn't want to yell back haha). When she turned to walk to the set, one of the girls who had been waiting a lot longer than me asked for a picture and Mariska said, "Sure! Walk with me." Well, me and all the other girls took that as an invitation as well, and so then a huge mass of us were walking down the block together. She paused briefly to take a picture with that girl and then this little dude with her was like "We're late to the set" so basically they had to go without the rest of us getting a change to talk to her.
It was cool despite that though. Mariska is GORGEOUS in person by the way. Like.. WOW pretty. And SO tall. That woman is fabulous.
-------------------------------------------------------
Update: Today I randomly ran into Cassandra on the street!! It was lovely to see her and totally brightened my day because I have zero friends.
And I also got a skirt at Loft for only $14!! Holler. It was kind of humid and threatening rain all day but I always enjoy walking around the city so today was good.
Current song obsession: Some Nights by Fun... SO GOOD.
Sunday, July 22, 2012
can't abide them even now & then;
People. If ever there comes a day when I am confused about what perfume to buy, remind me of this: I like something called "Golden Delicious" by Donna Karan.
Today I bought the Jennifer Aniston fragrance though, which I also like a lot and have been wanting to buy for quite some time. So I thought heck. I'm incredibly worried about my finances and having a quarter-life crisis, NOW would be a great time to do that.
I also bought a really pretty dress from H&M and a skirt from Forever 21. ...And I ate at chipotle yesterday and chop't today...
Yes, I am a complete idiot.
I did buy groceries today though, and am planning to eat oatmeal and/or cereal for dinner all this week to make up for it. Or broccoli, which I already have.
...when I started this post, it was going to be about something.
One thing though, that is something that I legitimately hate that is a part of my everyday life is getting cat-called. SERIOUSLY men. SERIOUSLY.
I cannot walk the two fucking blocks to or from the subway without some asshole man saying "hey beautiful" or "good moooorning" or "hola" or staring at me like a horny fucktard or WHISTLING at me. GOOD GOD. I seriously just keep walking and don't even look at them. I cannot even. I should not feel like I have to walk around wearing a fucking paper bag in order to not be viewed as a sex object. I should not think to myself "Well I'll be getting back late tonight so I better not wear a dress or anything.. I should wear pants so I get less noticed." I should not have to be on the lookout for danger. I should not have to feel like this.
I know some women are amused by cat-calling and stuff, but I cannot stand it. I IMMEDIATELY assume a man is a pig if he does that.
Guh.
That is probably one of the top 5 ways to piss me off.
Anyway. My life is a giant disaster.
Good night.
Today I bought the Jennifer Aniston fragrance though, which I also like a lot and have been wanting to buy for quite some time. So I thought heck. I'm incredibly worried about my finances and having a quarter-life crisis, NOW would be a great time to do that.
I also bought a really pretty dress from H&M and a skirt from Forever 21. ...And I ate at chipotle yesterday and chop't today...
Yes, I am a complete idiot.
I did buy groceries today though, and am planning to eat oatmeal and/or cereal for dinner all this week to make up for it. Or broccoli, which I already have.
...when I started this post, it was going to be about something.
One thing though, that is something that I legitimately hate that is a part of my everyday life is getting cat-called. SERIOUSLY men. SERIOUSLY.
I cannot walk the two fucking blocks to or from the subway without some asshole man saying "hey beautiful" or "good moooorning" or "hola" or staring at me like a horny fucktard or WHISTLING at me. GOOD GOD. I seriously just keep walking and don't even look at them. I cannot even. I should not feel like I have to walk around wearing a fucking paper bag in order to not be viewed as a sex object. I should not think to myself "Well I'll be getting back late tonight so I better not wear a dress or anything.. I should wear pants so I get less noticed." I should not have to be on the lookout for danger. I should not have to feel like this.
I know some women are amused by cat-calling and stuff, but I cannot stand it. I IMMEDIATELY assume a man is a pig if he does that.
Guh.
That is probably one of the top 5 ways to piss me off.
Anyway. My life is a giant disaster.
Good night.
Friday, July 20, 2012
or just the stirring in my soul;
I think I just want to sign a fucking lease. At least that way I can have my own stuff and decorate my room how I want and perhaps create some sort of stability for myself. If I decide to go to Europe or something, I can sublet my room, but one thing I know is that NYC is my home, so I guess it won't be bad to start making it seem that way now.
ALSO. I think I have decided that I want to be a talent agent someday. This has been one of the few consistent aspirations in my life. I have always had a fascination with talented children, probably because I was brimming with potential but didn't really get the opportunity to begin cultivating it until I was a teenager. I've always thought that if I'd had better training starting at a YOUNG age, I could have been really good. I mean, definitely not Bernadette Peters good or anything, but good in my own right. So anyway. I want to eventually have an agency that represents children 18 and under who come from dance studios and community theatres, who just want access to more opportunities. I kind of want it to be like a combination of career guidance, management, publicity, and agency stuff. Lots of thoughts in my head about this. We will see where my life takes me/it though.
I am so fickle though so like who the hell knows.
Anyway that is really all.
I need to think of something fun to do tomorrow which involves spending no money.
ALSO. I think I have decided that I want to be a talent agent someday. This has been one of the few consistent aspirations in my life. I have always had a fascination with talented children, probably because I was brimming with potential but didn't really get the opportunity to begin cultivating it until I was a teenager. I've always thought that if I'd had better training starting at a YOUNG age, I could have been really good. I mean, definitely not Bernadette Peters good or anything, but good in my own right. So anyway. I want to eventually have an agency that represents children 18 and under who come from dance studios and community theatres, who just want access to more opportunities. I kind of want it to be like a combination of career guidance, management, publicity, and agency stuff. Lots of thoughts in my head about this. We will see where my life takes me/it though.
I am so fickle though so like who the hell knows.
Anyway that is really all.
I need to think of something fun to do tomorrow which involves spending no money.
Thursday, July 19, 2012
might be a quarter life crisis;
I can't decide if I want to sign a lease in the fall or sublet again.
There are pros and cons to both, really. One one hand, it would be great to avoid broker fees, buying furniture, and then the whole issue of having a ton of shit and what the hell happens if I decide to go back to Europe or move to LA randomly. WHAT THEN.
BUT on the other hand it would be great to have my OWN space with my own shit where I don't have to feel like I have to stay in my/rando girl's room all the time and won't have to worry about being SUPER CAREFUL not to mess up her dumbass pristine shit. Also it would be great to have my own wall decor and not ... this. I just hate feeling like a guest in the place where I legitimately live. Its so awkward.
I dunno man.
The job hunt also continues to disappoint. I've got it in my head now though that if that one kickass nonprofit never ends up posting any jobs I am qualified for in the next couple weeks or so, I am going to just knock that whole avenue off the list and move back towards the arts. I'd love to work in talent management... I have always had a fascination with talented children, so I'd love to be like some sort of talent scout or casting agent who gets to give amazing opportunities to kids who wouldn't otherwise get them.
Another thing I would like to do is be someone's personal assistant. I decided that was a cool job when I was like 12, so.. maybe somehow I'll discover such an opportunity.
Those are the 2 biggest things on my mind lately.
Bedtime.
Hoping to seek out the cast of Smash tomorrow after work!! :DDD
There are pros and cons to both, really. One one hand, it would be great to avoid broker fees, buying furniture, and then the whole issue of having a ton of shit and what the hell happens if I decide to go back to Europe or move to LA randomly. WHAT THEN.
BUT on the other hand it would be great to have my OWN space with my own shit where I don't have to feel like I have to stay in my/rando girl's room all the time and won't have to worry about being SUPER CAREFUL not to mess up her dumbass pristine shit. Also it would be great to have my own wall decor and not ... this. I just hate feeling like a guest in the place where I legitimately live. Its so awkward.
I dunno man.
The job hunt also continues to disappoint. I've got it in my head now though that if that one kickass nonprofit never ends up posting any jobs I am qualified for in the next couple weeks or so, I am going to just knock that whole avenue off the list and move back towards the arts. I'd love to work in talent management... I have always had a fascination with talented children, so I'd love to be like some sort of talent scout or casting agent who gets to give amazing opportunities to kids who wouldn't otherwise get them.
Another thing I would like to do is be someone's personal assistant. I decided that was a cool job when I was like 12, so.. maybe somehow I'll discover such an opportunity.
Those are the 2 biggest things on my mind lately.
Bedtime.
Hoping to seek out the cast of Smash tomorrow after work!! :DDD
Saturday, July 14, 2012
my mind's unweaving;
I am pretty sure my alter ego is Jennifer Aniston's character Polly Prince in the movie Along Came Polly. I want to be her. I am on the non-plan plan.
Frankly I am not ready to live in New York for the rest of my life. I have more exploring to do. And then I will come back.
I am considering trying to au pair again next summer or something (for maybe like 2 months if possible?) and then spend about a month traveling around...
And then I think maybe I want to live in California for like a year or something. I want to see and experience new places damnit.
My idea of fun is literally seeing something I've never seen before. Aka a new place.. or even a play/musical or tv show or movie. I just like to take in new things. I get bored way too easily.
Also I realized recently that when I was like 15 I was super annoyed by people (theatre friends) I knew who were constantly traveling and stuff and never settled anywhere and stuff... and now I pretty much am one of those people.
Why Georgia by John Mayer is pretty much my soul's song right now.
"It might be a quarter life crisis\
or just the stirring in my soul..
But I wonder sometimes...
am I living it right?
...
Don't believe me when I say I've got it down.
Everybody is just a stranger
but that's the danger of going my own way
guess that's the price I have to pay."
Frankly I am not ready to live in New York for the rest of my life. I have more exploring to do. And then I will come back.
I am considering trying to au pair again next summer or something (for maybe like 2 months if possible?) and then spend about a month traveling around...
And then I think maybe I want to live in California for like a year or something. I want to see and experience new places damnit.
My idea of fun is literally seeing something I've never seen before. Aka a new place.. or even a play/musical or tv show or movie. I just like to take in new things. I get bored way too easily.
Also I realized recently that when I was like 15 I was super annoyed by people (theatre friends) I knew who were constantly traveling and stuff and never settled anywhere and stuff... and now I pretty much am one of those people.
Why Georgia by John Mayer is pretty much my soul's song right now.
"It might be a quarter life crisis\
or just the stirring in my soul..
But I wonder sometimes...
am I living it right?
...
Don't believe me when I say I've got it down.
Everybody is just a stranger
but that's the danger of going my own way
guess that's the price I have to pay."
Saturday, July 7, 2012
anything but love;
So the last few days have been pretty nice. I've been off work all week, which has been hugely refreshing and nice. I've just been hanging out, exploring the city, watching lots of Jennifer Aniston movies.. the usual.
Yesterday around 5pm I was super bored so I was like EFF IT and I decided to take the train over to Hoboken!! I walked around the town for a bit, got some food at PANERA which I have been craving lately, and then went to (drum roll please..)
CARLO'S BAKERY
THE PLACE WHERE CAKE BOSS IS.
YEAH DUDE.
They have this little barrier thing on the sidewalk that you have to stand behind in a line, and they hold out tickets with numbers on them and ask how many are in each party and then only let in a few people at a time, but even so the bakery is CONSTANTLY crowded wall to wall.
So you go in and look at the food options and then they call your number and you tell them what you want and then they get it and put it in boxes and tie them up all old-school. And they even have old of those older cash registers. Sadly none of the "familia" was there (it was the 5th of July and less than an hour before closing) so I'm sure they were all off, but I still thoroughly enjoyed going!! The place is very well organized for how chaotic the crowds make it. The wait was actually good because its so hard to decide what to buy!!
I ended up getting 1 red velvet cupcake with cream cheese icing, one chocolate with a Reese's cup chunk on top, one normal chocolate with chocolate frosting, and one vanilla with light blue frosting and a sugar surf board on top.. it was even sprinkled with crumbs to look like sand! So delightful. I also got 2 lobster tails because they are one of Buddy's specialties!! And SO GOOD I might add.
All of it was DELICIOUS. (Although I still have 1 cupcake left.. haha)
After that I went to this park on the water, and strolled about, took lots of pictures. The view of Manhattan from there is like.. mind blowingly gorgeous. I could not get enough of it. Also the Hoboken waterfront is awesome.. I would totally not mind living over there and commuting to the city to work.
Oh, and on the way back I was the ONLY ONE on the PATH train so I preceded to take silly photos of myself and lounge in the seats.
Then today I attempted to dye my hair (for the second time) and it worked a LITTLE better this time but still an overall fail. Maybe I am just meant to have brown hair forever.
Then at like 6pm I decided I should do something so I got a discount ticket online for this show called End of the Rainbow, about the end of Judy Garland's life. So I paid like $35 for the seat on the second to last row of the balcony. Got to the theatre, and the box office man moved me down to FIFTH ROW CENTER, ORCHESTRA LEVEL. HOLLER. It was SUCH a good show. Good Lord. I literally felt like I was looking at Judy Garland and the concert scenes really felt like a Judy concert. Perfect energy level, every last nuance of the character and mannerisms were spot on. That is a good show and I am so glad I got to see it!!
After the show, I stage-doored and got autographs, then headed to the nearest food cart for a chicken gyro.. I desperately needed meat after living off baked goods for 24 hours.
Annnd tomorrow I get to go see CIRQUE!! SO stoked.
Goodnight.
Yesterday around 5pm I was super bored so I was like EFF IT and I decided to take the train over to Hoboken!! I walked around the town for a bit, got some food at PANERA which I have been craving lately, and then went to (drum roll please..)
CARLO'S BAKERY
THE PLACE WHERE CAKE BOSS IS.
YEAH DUDE.
They have this little barrier thing on the sidewalk that you have to stand behind in a line, and they hold out tickets with numbers on them and ask how many are in each party and then only let in a few people at a time, but even so the bakery is CONSTANTLY crowded wall to wall.
So you go in and look at the food options and then they call your number and you tell them what you want and then they get it and put it in boxes and tie them up all old-school. And they even have old of those older cash registers. Sadly none of the "familia" was there (it was the 5th of July and less than an hour before closing) so I'm sure they were all off, but I still thoroughly enjoyed going!! The place is very well organized for how chaotic the crowds make it. The wait was actually good because its so hard to decide what to buy!!
I ended up getting 1 red velvet cupcake with cream cheese icing, one chocolate with a Reese's cup chunk on top, one normal chocolate with chocolate frosting, and one vanilla with light blue frosting and a sugar surf board on top.. it was even sprinkled with crumbs to look like sand! So delightful. I also got 2 lobster tails because they are one of Buddy's specialties!! And SO GOOD I might add.
All of it was DELICIOUS. (Although I still have 1 cupcake left.. haha)
After that I went to this park on the water, and strolled about, took lots of pictures. The view of Manhattan from there is like.. mind blowingly gorgeous. I could not get enough of it. Also the Hoboken waterfront is awesome.. I would totally not mind living over there and commuting to the city to work.
Oh, and on the way back I was the ONLY ONE on the PATH train so I preceded to take silly photos of myself and lounge in the seats.
Then today I attempted to dye my hair (for the second time) and it worked a LITTLE better this time but still an overall fail. Maybe I am just meant to have brown hair forever.
Then at like 6pm I decided I should do something so I got a discount ticket online for this show called End of the Rainbow, about the end of Judy Garland's life. So I paid like $35 for the seat on the second to last row of the balcony. Got to the theatre, and the box office man moved me down to FIFTH ROW CENTER, ORCHESTRA LEVEL. HOLLER. It was SUCH a good show. Good Lord. I literally felt like I was looking at Judy Garland and the concert scenes really felt like a Judy concert. Perfect energy level, every last nuance of the character and mannerisms were spot on. That is a good show and I am so glad I got to see it!!
After the show, I stage-doored and got autographs, then headed to the nearest food cart for a chicken gyro.. I desperately needed meat after living off baked goods for 24 hours.
Annnd tomorrow I get to go see CIRQUE!! SO stoked.
Goodnight.
Monday, July 2, 2012
that's all i can be;
Here's something frustrating: I have no fucking clue what I want to do with my life. There are lots of things I COULD do..
I could go back to my roots and stage manage. I could struggle to make ends meet for who knows how long, doing multiple jobs at once, in hopes that someday I would get something that actually pays decent money.
I could keep applying and eventually work with a nonprofit- do something that maybe matters. I would be behind a desk 9-5, probably hate the actual work part of it, and might even feel trapped. But I guess there's a chance I could move up in whatever organization and get to travel or something. Idk.
I could apply my ass off and find a way into get into talent management/representation. I could do something I feel like I have always had a knack for, which is seeing potential in others. This is definitely something I think I would enjoy, but breaking into it.. I have no idea how to do that. It would take years.
I could just quit all the searching and be a nanny or something... I'd get paid well enough, and probably be able to take enough time off to travel when I wanted to.
I could be a bartender.
I could get on a plane tomorrow and move to Chicago or Miami or California.
I could just travel until my money runs out completely, and then have to get a job wherever I am when that happens.
I could go get a masters degree in something.
Life is so wide open, I have to keep reminding myself that I am completely free, and I can make my life into whatever journey I want it to be.
So why is it so hard to pick one?
More than anything, the thing I want to do most is live passionately. I just don't know which path is going to allow me to do that, and to retain that passion.
I could go back to my roots and stage manage. I could struggle to make ends meet for who knows how long, doing multiple jobs at once, in hopes that someday I would get something that actually pays decent money.
I could keep applying and eventually work with a nonprofit- do something that maybe matters. I would be behind a desk 9-5, probably hate the actual work part of it, and might even feel trapped. But I guess there's a chance I could move up in whatever organization and get to travel or something. Idk.
I could apply my ass off and find a way into get into talent management/representation. I could do something I feel like I have always had a knack for, which is seeing potential in others. This is definitely something I think I would enjoy, but breaking into it.. I have no idea how to do that. It would take years.
I could just quit all the searching and be a nanny or something... I'd get paid well enough, and probably be able to take enough time off to travel when I wanted to.
I could be a bartender.
I could get on a plane tomorrow and move to Chicago or Miami or California.
I could just travel until my money runs out completely, and then have to get a job wherever I am when that happens.
I could go get a masters degree in something.
Life is so wide open, I have to keep reminding myself that I am completely free, and I can make my life into whatever journey I want it to be.
So why is it so hard to pick one?
More than anything, the thing I want to do most is live passionately. I just don't know which path is going to allow me to do that, and to retain that passion.
Sunday, July 1, 2012
unlived lives in your veins;
I have discovered that I have absolutely no idea how to make friends in NYC. Or.. in any "real world' setting for that matter. Like, okay.. up until now I have basically been in situations which were breeding grounds for friendships slash human interaction: theatre, high school, college, choirs/band, teamwork-ish work places (like Panera where I met some of the most amazing people ever). But now I work in a place where I sit at a computer and scan things for most of the day and I am a temp so.. I am not really considered part of the gang there.
Where do people meet people? Bars are always my first thought, but I hate bars and also don't even really drink. Other than that.. what? Please tell me.
Till next time, I will be sitting here drinking coffee, eating PB&J, and watching yet another Jennifer Aniston movie.
Where do people meet people? Bars are always my first thought, but I hate bars and also don't even really drink. Other than that.. what? Please tell me.
Till next time, I will be sitting here drinking coffee, eating PB&J, and watching yet another Jennifer Aniston movie.
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