Saturday, November 20, 2010

i drink coffee like water and i still never know what to say;

I am in a mood. I am in a very moody mood, brought on by a plethora of random coincidences, such as work today was really hectic, and it will be the same way tomorrow; I am way behind on schoolwork and super worried about getting the classes I need for next semester. And everyone just seems to be SO DAMN HAPPY and I am just pissed and I feel like no one will understand what's really bothering me.

What's really bothering me is that I am having a self esteem crisis.
I honestly thought I was past this. I thought that after Stacy London taught me how to love myself, that I would be able to, and that it would last no matter what. But it is faltering now. I am back to like.. where I was when I was a child. I know who I am, but I hate what I see on the outside.
I feel fat and gross. I hate it. I hate trying on clothes and having to deal with it. I tried on dresses today and I didn't even want to look in the mirror.
I hate that you'll read this and want to help
I hate that my thoughts may break your heart
just stop reading this now.
I don't usually feel this way
in fact, I never feel this way.

I just needed to get this off my chest.

I wish Stacy London still accepted DMs on twitter..

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