entire years strewn on the cutting room floor of memory

Life is ridiculous.
One moment you're here and this is the moment. This is what matters. There is no glancing ahead, no looking forward, just this; and you're sure it will last. And it will matter like this forever.

But then all of a sudden you remember where you are
and you look around
and everything you thought you knew is nowhere to be found.
But then you remember
that THIS is it.
NOW you are where you should be...

aren't you?

lacking faith in the present thanks to the loss of the past and holding no hope in the future thanks to the faithless present is no way to live.

"How did we get here?
How the hell?
Pan left- close on the steeple of the church.
How did I get here?
How the hell?
Christmas- Christmas Eve last year.
How could a night so frozed be so scalding hot?
How can a morning this mild be so raw?
Why are entire years strewn on the cutting room floor of memory
when single frames
from one magic night
forever flicker in close-up
on the 3d Imax of my mind?!
that's poetic.
..that's pathetic.
Why did [mimi] knock on [roger's] door
& [collins] choose that [phone booth]
back where [angel] set up his [drums]
why did [maureen's] equipment break down
why am i the witness?
& when i capture it on film,
will it mean that its the end
& I'm alone?"

I had a dream about you last night. You're never leaving. I guess my biggest fear is that you've just forgotten...

I'm glad you are finally in my life almost as much as I want you to be.

I want to know you more.

Do you even still care? Because you are losing me day by day.

life is weird.
its crazy.

just because everythings changing
doesnt mean its never
been this way before.

yeah?