i know places;

Oh hi I am writing a blog post! Literally every time I write in this thing I tell myself I want to write in it more, but lately I've been wanting to write things that I do not want the general public to have access to read.

However, I do have some thoughts to share.

1. I am torn between wanting to live in NYC forever and wanting to explore new places. I really enjoy exploration and figuring out new places and stuff like that but am really not sure if MOVING somewhere new is what I want. Like... how would that even work? How do people move places that aren't New York? I really don't know how life works outside of this city to be honest, because this city is a completely different beast than any place else. I also have no idea what I want to do in terms of a career but I am pretty set on the fact that I do not want to work in an office forever. I want a more dynamic career and a flexible schedule and I definitely want to work more travel into my life. So basically, as always, I am questioning everything in my life.

2. I am really sort of awkward about certain things and have no idea how to talk to people about certain things and I wish that wasn't the case. I don't want to get into specifics here but I find myself wanting to approach certain topics with certain people and I honestly have no idea how to do so, EVEN WHEN IT IS A MOMENT THAT WOULD BE SUCH AN EASY LEAD IN. Like. What is wrong with me. Why am I so bad at conversations.

3. I am finding myself having the desire to be in a relationship lately and that is very weird for me because I am single by choice and never really give a shit about relationship-y things. So yeah. Does this mean I am old?

4. My youtube channel. I really enjoy talking about beauty and fashion and things of that nature but in the grand scheme of things none of that really matters. Beauty & stuff is fun and it makes me happy but I also want to use my channel to lift people up and let people know how beautiful they are and stuff like that. So I am going to try to do more things like that. I made a video on confidence that I really liked so hopefully I can do more things along those lines. :)