but we'll never be royals;

I can honestly say that life does not get any less confusing between the ages of 15 and 25. If anything, it gets more confusing.

At 15, all you're faced with is high school drama and dealing with parents on a daily basis. Those are the challenges.

At 25, I've come to realize that I am often overcome with a sense of.. "Am I doing this right?" And by "this" I mean life... everything. I feel like my life has all these different chapters. Chapter 1 being childhood, 2 would be high school and all the memories I have of my theatre friends and how at that time I specifically defined myself as a "theatre person" ... In the next chapter, college, I lost confidence in that definition and attempted to expand my horizons a bit. I did anything and everything, got my first real job, made a whole new set of friends and completely lost contact with the vast majority of people I'd called my best friends just months prior. For me the next chapter would be Europe. Though it was only 4 months, the time I spent in Europe hugely altered my sense of self. Before that, I was VERY extroverted in terms of needing people around and pulling in energy from those around me. While there, I had to learn to rely solely on myself, and got to a place where I did not need anyone else to get that energy.
My next chapter was and is New York. And this is going to be a long one, because I will probably live here for many years, if not the rest of my life... and it will have tons of smaller chapters inside it.

But the theme of this chapter so far is uncertainty. I have given up a lot to have what I have now.. and at times I'm not sure if I've made the right decisions. There are times when I am so incredibly thankful for the life I have now and I just take a moment to think about what it took to get here and I get happy. But other times ... I just don't know. I know I love living here and I know that this is where I've always wanted to be and that is not going to change. But the more personal choices.. like not doing a great job of keeping in touch with old friends and not taking more chances and putting myself out there... am I doing life wrong?

This is a very confused post, but if you're still reading, well,... good luck to you.

Do other people feel this way? Like there's a chance things might be better if you'd made other choices?

Who knows.

I'll end this by saying- I really am happy most of the time. This is the exception.

Its just been one of those days.