Thursday, April 15, 2010

this just needs to be commemorated

Kelley: What's your work schedule like this weekend??

Erin: YOUR MOM

Kelley: YOUS A POO FACE

Erin: YOUR MOM'S A POO FACE

Kelley: IMMA PUSH YOU DOWN A HOLE

Erin: THEN I'LL RUN OVER YOU WITH A CAR

Kelley: IMMA SET OFF A BOMB AND SEND YOU INTO ANOTHER REALITY

Erin: I'MMA PUT DYNAMITE IN YOUR PURSE AND THEN RUN AWAY

Kelley: IMMA SEND YOU ON A BOAT TO SAFETY AND THEN IT WILL EXPLODE

Erin: I'MMA PUSH YOU OUT A SEVENTH-STORY WINDOW AND THEN ABSCOND WITH YO KIDNEYS

Kelley: IMMA PUT YOU ON A RAFT AND THEN SEND SOME MOFOS IN A BOAT TO STEAL YO SON!

Erin: I'MMA MARRY A MAN WHO SEXUALLY ABUSES YOU AND THEN CALL THE COPS WHEN YOU BLOW UP MY TRAILER

Kelley: IMMA STEAL YO BABY AND THEN RAISE HIM AS MY OWN AND THEN HE WILL NEVER KNOW YOU AND THEN I WILL ABANDON HIM AND COME BACK TO FIND YOU HAVE GONE INSANE!

Erin: I'MMA SEND YOU ON A RACE AROUND THE WORLD AND THEN MAROON YOU ON A ISLAND FOR 4815162343 DAYS AND MAKE YOU PUSH A BUTTON AND THEN YOU'RE GONNA ASK TO MARRY MY DAUGHTER AND I'M NOT EVEN GONNA LET YOU DRINK MY SCOTCH

Kelley: IMMA DIE AND THEN MAKE YOU TAKE MY COFFIN TO AUSTRALIA AND THEN UNDIE AND HAUNT YOU FOEVA!

Erin: I'MMA GO BACK IN TIME AND SEDUCE YO MOM AND THEN YO DADDY WILL KILL ERRBODY EXCEPT YOU CUZ YOU'LL BE UNDER THE BED AND THEN YOU'RE GONNA TAKE MY NAME AND LIVE LIKE A DOUCHEBAG UNTIL ONE DAY YOU FINALLY KILL SOMEONE WHO TURNS OUT TO NOT BE ME

Kelley: IMMA BECOME A HORRIBLY ABUSIVE ALCOHOLIC FATHER AND TAKE YOU (CUZ YOU MY SON) TO AN ISLAND AND THEN TAKE YOU AN ISLAND WHERE I WORK AS A MAINTENANCE MAN AND YOU ARE DEPRESSIONED AND HAVE NO FRIENDS

Erin: I'MMA KILL YO SPANISH WIFE OF CHOLERA AND THROW YOU IN PRISON FO NO REASON AND THEN PUT YOU ON A ISLAND WHERE YOU WILL NEVER DIE OR REMOVE YOUR EYELINER
13 hours ago

Kelley: IMMA FALL MADLY IN LOVE WITH YOU AND LIVE A HAPPY LIFE WITH YOU IN THE 1970S AND THEN LET A LITTLE SMART MOFO SET OFF AN ATOMIC BOMB AND THEN LET GO OF YOU SO YOU GET SUCKED DOWN A HOLE AND THEN HAVE TO SET OF THE BOMB YOSELF!!!!!

Erin: I'MMA GO BACK IN MY LIFE AND RELIVE IT AS THOUGH YOU WERE THERE THE WHOLE TIME AND THEN I'MMA MAKE UP A STUPID BRAND OF SPIDER WHO WILL BITE YOU AND MAKE YOU PARALYSED AND THEN I'MMA BURY YOU ALIVE IN SOME SAND WITH YO BROTHER

Kelley: IMMA BRING YOU ON A BOAT AND THEN LET THAT CRAZY MOFO STEAL YOU FROM ME AND THEN BECOME A CRAZY WOMAN MAHSELF AND THEN YOU WILL GET SHOT ONE DAY WHEN THAT CRAZY MOFO DONT CARE BOUT YOU NO MO!

Erin: I'MMA BE A DRUG LORD AND YOU GONNA BE A PRIEST AND I'MMA HAVE TO GET ON A PLANE WITH SOME OTHER DRUG LORDS BUT YOU GONNA GET ON IT FOR ME INSTEAD AND A BUNCH OF PEOPLE GONNA GET SHOT FOR SOME REASON AND YO PLANE GONNA CRASH WITH A BUNCH OF STATUES FULL OF DRUGS

Kelley: IMMA MAKE YOU THINK THAT THESE MOFOS WHO LIVE IN AN UNDER WATA BUBBLE HAVE THE ANSWER TO ALL DA LIFES PROBLEMS BUT THEN YOU GONNA SWIM DOWN THERE AND THEN THEY GONNA LOCK YOU IN A ROOM AND IM GONNA SWIM TO YOU AND YOU GONNA SING AND PRETEND NO ONES THERE AND THEN AT SOME POINT SOMEHOW YOU GONNA GET LOCKED IN A ROOM DATS GONNA FILL WIT WATA AND DEN YOU GONNA WRITE ME A MESSAGE TELLIN ME DAT DIS WAS A FAILED PLAN AND DEN YOU GON DIE!

Erin: I'MMA GONNA FORM A BAND WIF YOU AND I'MMA GONNA DEVELOP A PROBLEM WITH DRUGS AND YOU GONNA THINK I'S STUPID AND THEN I'MMA GONNA MAKE YOU TAKE SOME DRUGS AND THEN YOU GONNA GET HOOKED AND THEN I'MMA GONNA GET ALL CLEANED UP AND DEVELOP A FAMILY WHILE YOU BE A USELESS HAS-BEEN JUNKIE WHO USED TA PLAY DA BASS

Kelley: IMMA GIVE YOU DA WINNIN LOTTERY NUMBAS AND DEN YOU GON WIN DA LOTTERY AND ITS GON CURSE YOU AND YOU AINT GON HAVE DA HAPPINESS NO MO

Erin: I'MMA TAKE YOU OUT INTO DA WOODS AND MAKE YOU EXCAVATE A TRAP DOOR WIF ME AND THEN WHEN WE'S DONE I'MMA DROP A PLANE ON YO HEAD

Kelley: IMMA MAKE YO LIFE REALLY COMPLICATED BY KILLIN YOU WHEN YOU A YOUNG BOY AND THEN SOMEHOW YOU GONNA LIVE AND FIND OUT HOW PEOPLE CAN STOP FLUCTUATIN BETWEEN REALITIES AND HAVIN NOSE BLEEDS BUT DEN YOU GONNA DIE SOMEHOW DAT I DONT REMEMBER

Erin: I'MMA TAKE YOU ON A HOT DATE TO DA BEACH AND WE GONNA HAVE SOME SEXXINS IN A TENT AND THEN WE GONNA GO OUT INTO THE WOODS AND A CRAZY MEXICAN GONNA SHOOT YOU IN THE BELLY BECAUSE SHE GONNA YOU THINK YOU'S A OTHER

Kelley: IMMA HIT YO IN DA HEAD WIT A TREE AND YOU GONNA FORGET HOW TO TALK ENGLISH

Erin: I'MMA FIND YOU IN A IRAQI PRISON AND REMEMBER YOU FROM WHEN WE WAS CHILDREN AND I'MMA BE TOO AFRAID TO TORTURE YOU AND THEN I'MMA SHOOT MYSELF IN THE LEG SO YOU CAN BE FREE. BUT THEN WE GONNA FIND EACH OTHER AGAIN AND YOU GONNA GET HIT BY A CAR IN A CROSSWALK

Kelley: IMMA PRETEND TO BE HEALIN YOU IN MAH TEMPLE OF TINY TREES BUT THEN IMMA DROWN YOU AND YOU GONNA DIE BUT THEN YOU GONNA COME BACK TO LIFE AND LOSE ALL YO EMOTIONS!

Erin: I'MMA DROP YO BASEBALL AND THEN YOU GONNA DIE SOMEHOW. POSSIBLY BY BULLETS BUT MAYBE BY A BLACK SMOKE MONSTER. I DON'T REALLY REMEMBA

Kelley: IMMA TELL YOU IN THE 1500S OR SOMETHING THAT IMMA KILL YOU AND THEN IMMA GET INTO A CRIPPLED MOFOS BODY AND THROW YOU IN A FIRE IN 2007!

Erin: I'MMA GET ON A PLANE THAT'S SUPPOSED TO GO TO GUAM AND YOU'RE GONNA BE DRIVIN IT AND WHEN YOU SEE ME ON THE PLANE YOU GONNA KNOW THAT WE AIN'T GOIN TO GUAM, MOFO

Kelley: IMMA PUT YOU ON A REALLY BAD TV SHOW IN ITS FINAL SEASON AND THEN YOU GONNA BLOW UP ALL OF A SUDDEN BEFORE ANYONE KNOWS OR UNDERSTANDS WHO YOU ARE

Erin: I'MMA ABSORB YOU INTO MY GIANT GREEN BODY UNTIL NOTHING IS LEFT BUT YO HEAD AND THEN YOU WILL BE PRESERVED AS A CEMENT FACE AND YOU WILL HAVE TO HAVE A LOVE LIFE WITH ELTON

Kelley: IMMA KEEP SURVIVING WHILE YOU ALWAYS LOSIN EVERYTHING!

Erin: I'MMA PREDICT YO DEATH WHILST GIGGLING AND FLAILING MY LEGS ABOUT AND THEN YOU GONNA JUST LOSE YO MEMORIES

Kelley: IMMA COME BUSTIN IN TO YO GIRLFRIENDS ALT MOMS BIRFDAY PARTY AND DELETE SOME MOFOS AND ALMOST DELETE YOU

Erin: I'MMA GET YOU ZAPPED BY A GIANT COMPUTER AND THEN PRESERVE YOU INSIDE MY SONIC SCREWDRIVER UNTIL YOU CAN BE SAVED TO THE BRAIN OF A TINY DEAD CHILD

Kelley: IMMA LOOK INTO THE TARDIS AND THE TARDIS GONNA LOOK INTO ME AND IMMA BECOME THE BAD WOLF AND BE ABLE TO SEE THE PAST AND THE FUTURE AND EVERY ATOM OF YOUR EXISTENCE AND IMMA DIVIDE THEM

Erin: I'MMA SELL YOU A TELEVISION AND IT'S GONNA SUCK YO FACE OFF AND THEN IT'S GONNA MAKE ME DISSOLVE

Kelley: IMMA SEE YO DISEMBODIED HAND AND REMEMBER THAT I AINT NO HUMAN AND THEN IMMA STEAL YO BLUE BOX AND FLY IT TO LONDON AND BECOME PRIME MINISTER AND KILL EVERYONE AND TURN YOU INTO A REALLY OLD MAN AND NOT BE ABLE TO DECIDE WHETHER YOU SHOULD LIVE OR DIE

Erin: I'MMA STAND SILENTLY BY AND PRETEND TO BE YO BUTLER BUT THEN ONE DAY YOU GONNA REALISE THAT YOUR HAIR POTION IS ACTUALLY EXTRACT OF ME AND YOU GONNA MUTATE

Kelley: IMMA DISGUISE MAHSELF IN A HUMANS BODY AND THEN BE FARTIN IT UP ALL THE TIME AND THEN UNZIP MAH FOREHEAD AND REVEAL MAH TRUE IDENTITY
13 hours ago ·

Erin: I'MMA INSTALL MYSELF IN YO CEILING AND FORCE YOU TO FEED YO FRIENDS TO ME

Kelley: IMMA MAKE YOU OPEN UP A CRACK IN MAH WALL DAT IS ACTUALLY A CRACK IN DA UNIVERSE AND DEN IMMA RICK ROLL YOU

Erin: I'MMA PRETEND TO CRY AND YOU GONNA FLOAT ON OVER TO HELP ME OUT AND THEN I'MMA ENSLAVE YOU BY ELECTRICALLY SHOCKING YO BRAIN AND RIDING YOU ACROSS THE NIGHT SKY

Kelley: IMMA TAKE YOU AND YO WHOLE HOSPITAL TO DA MOON AND DEN IMMA SUCK YO BLOOD OUT WIT A STRAW

Erin: I'MMA BURY YOUR CHILDREN IN THE CORE OF THE EARTH AND THEN I'MMA DROWN THEM WITH THE RIVER THAMES ON CHRISTMAS DAY

Kelley: IMMA MAKE A NOT AS GOOD CLONE OF MYSELF AND MAKE YOU LIVE WITH IT IN AN ALTERNATE REALITY FOEVA

Erin: I'MMA TURN MYSELF INTO A HUMAN AND THEN FORCE YOU TO HANG OUT WITH ME EVEN THOUGH ERRBODY BE MAKING FUN OF THE COLOUR OF YO SKIN AND THEN SOME ALIENS GONNA SHOW UP WIF GREEN SPARKY GUNS AND THEY GONNA START KILLIN PEOPLE AND YOU GONNA BE JEALOUS WHEN I GO TO THE DANCE WIF NURSE REDFERN

Kelley Anderson IMMA JUST EAT SOME CHIPS AND NOT DEAL WITH YO OLD GIRLFRIEND CUZ SHE A MOFO BUT THEN I GONNA BE HER FRIEND AND WE GONNA LOL OUR PANTS OFF ABOUT YOU
and im actually going to go to bed now. :)


Erin Ruth Maness I'MMA GO TO BED

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