to me, you are perfect.

I feel like a lot of times I have this delusion in my head that I am actually the person I really want to be, and then I get afraid that I'm absolutely not that person at all..
that probably made little to no sense.

But like
sometimes I feel like all I really have to offer people is love, encouragement, support..willingness to help.. all those intangible things
but on the other hand i struggle so so much with stupid things like school and anything that requires talent. lol.
AND I DIDN'T JUST SAY THAT BECAUSE I WANT A PITY PARTY.
I am saying it because honestly I sometimes think that those things that I mentioned before, that I am good at, that are the essence of the person I really want to be, are my purpose.
And maybe that's right.
I don't know.
I don't even know why I just said all that.

But I do know
that this school year has been the most awesome slash hellish thing I have ever experienced.
I have grown SO MUCH as a person, I think, and also as a stage manager, and as a friend. I hope.
Basically, times where me & Leigh and Erin are spinning around and screaming on the tire swing are times I will always remember. And planning my NYC apartment with Erin-all those amazing thing's we're going to get. And staying up on the futon till 4am watching multiple episodes of 'Never Mind the Buzzcocks' and painting our nails and LOLing our pants off. And when Katherine reads bad fanfiction aloud to us. And reading Jordi's palm and playing 'would you rather' for two hours instead of doing homework. And having carpet time (and my personal favorite, cuddle time) with Leigh. And wandering around campus with Taylor. And hula hooping for hours in the hallway with Taylor & Erin, just waiting for someone we know to walk by. Or cast parties where everyone is dressed in ridiculous costumes and just being together. Or facebook chatting with Jordi DURING rehearsal, while sitting next to each other. Or h2h practices where I act like a fool and Logan and the altos all give me strange looks. Or finding BEST FRIENDS where I thought I would be completely alone.
That is what this year has brought me.
And I would not trade that for the world.