& I feel fine;

It is so weird to me to get on Facebook and find out that KIDS who I used to do theatre with are now married and having babies.
KIDS.

Granted, some are only like a year or two younger than me, but still. I remember when they were small and now they are grownups.

I am also amazed by the fact that 99% of my facebook friends from North Carolina still live in North Carolina, even after college. I know that odds (in the whole nation) are that if you grow up in a state you will likely remain there as an adult. But.. it just baffles me how many people CHOOSE to stay. You can go anywhere and do anything and you've chosen to stay in the place you know. Why.

I mean, I realize that I chose a different life path. I have been making my own life decisions since I was like 10 years old. My mom let me decide to change schools (or not) and what activities I wanted to do and when I wanted to get my drivers license and where I went to college and what I majored in and when I should or shouldn't come home and where I should work and that I would go to Europe and that I would move to NYC.

I am not looking for a relationship, I don't want to get married necessarily ever, and I don't want to have kids.
I am not like the majority of people in that way, and I am fine with that. I honestly enjoy being on the outside of those things, supporting the people who are doing them. I'll hang out with Jenn's kids on the weekends and buy them cotton candy at Coney Island, I'll hang out with Jamie's kids when I visit NC (or wherever she ends up) and take them on an adventure, I will support my friends through their relationships and be there for them for late night phone calls and facebook chats, I will be the maid of honor and do the heavy lifting to set up a lovely reception room. I will do all of those things because I really really love being there for people and have literally zero desire to get any of those things for myself.

Instead, I want to have a job that I can live off comfortably and when I am in my 40s, I want to become a foster parent. I want to adopt a dog and a cat. I want to travel the world and never slow down.
I am going to succeed because I have to keep believing that. I have to keep pushing myself and never go backwards. I will never work at the same job twice. (Hence why I decided to not get a job at Panera when I moved to NYC.)

I love to be doing things, I hate being idle. And as much as I hate living my life by an alarm clock, I HATE it when I am unemployed. Like now.

I have no idea where this blog post is going.
I just wanted to express the differences between myself and the 90% of the population who wants the traditional life experience.. haha.

In other news, here's what I am doing about my current unemployment situation:
applying to many administrative assistant jobs
applying to stage managing jobs
applying to nanny jobs
emailed the temp agency and will do so again when I get back to NYC
researching the possibility of going to grad school for a masters in social work with the goal of becoming a life coach

I am just mostly trying to remain calm, keep a positive attitude and not get burnt out. I can do this. I will succeed because, if nothing else, I refuse to fail.


Oh hey also happy 12/21/12! We survived, y'all.