Applying for jobs makes me feel inferior to the entire human race and I hate it so so much. I hate how hard it is to just get hired somewhere. Because I KNOW that I will work my ass off no matter where I work and I know that I deserve to be employed but I hate how like.. just ridiculous it is trying to find anything.
I am very distraught about it all and I just want to be hired so I can stop worrying for a little while.
And I am also pissed at everyone I know who never has to work for anything and gets everything they want.
Sometimes I wish life were fair.
Despite the fact that this bad mood is constantly looming in the back of my mind, I am really enjoying NYC.. it is good to be back here, even though I am living moment to moment and have no idea how long I'm staying or anything and that in itself is very stressful.
Anyway.
I was going to write about more positive things. I am finding elements of my personality which kind of faded away in the past year or so which are floating back up to the surface of who I am and I like it. One of which being more confident in my appearance and dressing to fit that confidence. I ALWAYS feel better when I dress better, and then I feel more confident. And I like that.
Also side note I went to an event that Stacy London spoke at last night!! :D I literally found out about the event like 5 hours before it was going to happen and OMG I got so stoked when I did because lo and behold I was in Manhattan. It was amazing to see her again- she sat right in front of me and she smelled really good (yes I am a creeper but give me a break the scent was radiating off her JEEZ) and she gave me a hug and asked me about my life and OMG I LOVE HER.
It baffles me how she seems to give more shits about me than the majority of my friends seem to.
ANYWAY. Yeah. I am a bag of mixed emotions. This was going to be a more quality post but.. it isn't.
Also she lightened her hair a bit and I really like it.
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