OH HI.
So yeah I suck at blogging lately. SUCK. But I guess I feel like there really isn't much to say.. I am living here and working at this job I do not like at all but for now it pays the bills... I have begun looking at other job stuff though, and am actually looking forward to hopefully signing a lease in the fall after my sublet here ends! I mean, finding an apartment really sucks but I feel like I have a MUCH better grasp now on what the different neighborhoods are like and what I should expect in this search.
I also just found out like yesterday that I have ALL NEXT WEEK off work, so I am pretty pumped for that. Definitely planning to do lots of fun things, sleep a lot, and apply for some jobs...
I feel like I am growing up. I feel like Europe really helped develop my sense of self and stuff and now I am just like.. totally confident. Most of the time anyway. I have to say that my *Christianity* in the most traditional sense of the word has really faded over the past 2-3 years, but I do believe that God looks out for me and has led me to the right places in life. And I believe that here is where I should be! Holler.
Now I just need to find out what the hell I am supposed to do with my life, career wise. Frankly, I refuse to be one of those people who goes to an office every day and HATES their job. I will not do that. I need to be in a flexible environment where I can be creative, interact with others, feel like I am doing something that MATTERS. Guh.
I cannot tell you how annoyed I am with humans that we put so much value and dumb shit and little to no value in kindness or helping others. Seeing how much money people spend on enormous houses or cars or jewelry and its like GOOD LORD if these people put that much effort into getting to know people around them or volunteering or even traveling (and by that I mean the type of travel that allows you to truly experience other cultures, not the kind where you stay in a 5 star hotel and order room service), then the world would really be a brighter place.
I put a lot of emphasis on experiencing life. I think its important to get to know yourself, take some risks, do what you fucking want to do because you don't get to go back and do it all over if you miss out.
Also: I find marriage extremely pointless and weird. But I will refrain from expanding on that because I have several amazing, close friends who are married. But hey, to them I say: if you're happy, I am thrilled for you!! For me though, its just like.. GUH. I don't get why anyone would want that at this point in life.
Lately I have been really in want of a significant other though.. But of course I am not too hopeful of that happening. I mean, my relationship with the idea of *relationships* is rocky at best, and this whole issue is just a whole other bag of crap that I will refrain from delving into in this very public sphere. haha.
Well this was all over the place. I need to sleep now though but YAY I actually wrote words.
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