I feel like I am kind of in denial right now. haha. Like, I spent the entire week last week procrastinating about packing to move out of my apartment and doing nothing in my free time but watching SVU... Its like I was having trouble convincing myself that I was indeed moving out and that this Europe thing is going to happen. I guess its just been something so far off all this time, that now that its only a week away, I am having trouble believing it.
Its extremely intimidating. Europe that is. Like, I am sure that once I get there I will like it and it will be cool and stuff... but I am also scared and worried and not sure if any of it is a good idea. But like, I am sure it is though. The sensible side of me is sure of that. Its going to broaden my horizons and force me to deal with things I've never dealt with before. I do consider myself an independent person now, but this will force me to be even more independent and grow up more and stuff.
I have so many things I need to do before I leave as well.. Like, pack and stuff. I am just so overwhelmed by my whole life. Nothing makes any sense.
I am not sure that I know how to fit in with other people anymore.. I have folded up inside myself a lot. And its like there is this whirlwind of ambition and desire held up inside me begging to be let out, but it has no idea where to go so its just stuck in there.
Well. Time for more SVU and Dr Pepper.
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