New York was amazing.
Poland is SET for January through the end of March.. after that (if I can't find another au pair gig in the UK or Ireland) I would like to spend about a week or 2 in that area and just travel and explore.
Perhaps I can spend a few weekends in Italy during the Poland thing, and I get to do Paris for New Years with Erin.. so at least that way I will get to see the places I most want to see.
I will eventually write a more detailed post about NYC, but right now I am yet again unsure what the hell I want to do with my life.
I was pretty set on this grad school thing until today. I was watching My Extreme Animal Phobia today, on which Dr. Robin Zasio is the therapist, and I was watching her deal with these people who were being complete bitches to her and yelling at her. And she was just like ... being all sweet and stuff.. and like, I am just not sure that I could do as good a job at stuff like that as Dr. Zasio does. I am a person who basically MAKES myself be good at the things I do.. so if I think I am not going to be good at something, I either put it off or do something else or whatnot. I don't know. Part of me just wants to escape to NYC.. but nothing about moving there would be an escape. Costs of living are high there so I mean.. it would be a huge challenge, and I would not want to get up there and then either not be able to find a job or find a job that I end up hating.. I just don't know.
Why do I never know what to do with myself.
Anyone reading this want to tell me what to do with my life??
I just want Judge Milian to preside over my life and tell me what to do. That would be great.
Friday, November 18, 2011
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
i saw the sign;
I am apparently a libra sun sign, virgo moon, and libra rising.
Someone I follow on tumblr recently started like.. letting people send her their birthday days/times/places and somehow from that this information is gathered.
Anyway, this fascinates me because I am fascinated by digging deeper as far as personalities.. and like.. its cool that the stuff it says is so true of me!
Like this:
Libra Sun Sign--
Motto: "To every action there is an opposite and equal reaction."
Greatest Strength: Your grace and charm when helping others
Possible Weakness: Forgetting to take care of your own needs
The Scales are the only zodiac symbol that's neither animal nor human -- but surely that doesn't make you any less human. In fact, you are among the most sociable of the signs. As scales of old were really "balances," so to do you seek balance in all that you do. You respond to situations with grace as you attempt to put others at ease. Artistically, you try to balance form, content, colors and elements, and for this reason can be drawn toward creative endeavors.
Virgo Moon---
Motto: "I feel like I can do better."
Greatest Strength: Your ability to analyze your emotions
Possible Weakness: The tendency to be too self-critical
The Virgin is highly discriminating, but not necessarily as prudish at some might believe. In ancient times, a Virgin was a woman who was not the property of man, and therefore had the legal right to just say "no." Now, in modern times, you Virgos are known for your ability to be highly discriminating. When you are ready, however, to say yes, the laser-like focus of your passion is anything but prudish. Generally, you have a great deal of common sense. But you tend to be tough on yourself, finding flaws that others might overlook. Learning to overlook the small stuff now and then can be good for you.
Libra Rising---
Motto: "Is everybody happy?"
Greatest Strength: Bringing harmony to your environment
Possible Weakness: Unwillingness to deal with confrontation
Libra Rising is a sign of social skill, charm and grace. You approach the world with a distinct sense of harmony, seeking to create an environment in which others feel welcome. Your manner is likely to be quite attractive with a natural sense of style. You often put others first, setting aside own needs until theirs are met. While this is a delightful habit that most people appreciate, it can make it harder to stand up for yourself. Battling for others, for justice and fairness comes easily, but fighting for your own interests may be more difficult.
This stuff is kind of cool!! :)
Someone I follow on tumblr recently started like.. letting people send her their birthday days/times/places and somehow from that this information is gathered.
Anyway, this fascinates me because I am fascinated by digging deeper as far as personalities.. and like.. its cool that the stuff it says is so true of me!
Like this:
Libra Sun Sign--
Motto: "To every action there is an opposite and equal reaction."
Greatest Strength: Your grace and charm when helping others
Possible Weakness: Forgetting to take care of your own needs
The Scales are the only zodiac symbol that's neither animal nor human -- but surely that doesn't make you any less human. In fact, you are among the most sociable of the signs. As scales of old were really "balances," so to do you seek balance in all that you do. You respond to situations with grace as you attempt to put others at ease. Artistically, you try to balance form, content, colors and elements, and for this reason can be drawn toward creative endeavors.
Virgo Moon---
Motto: "I feel like I can do better."
Greatest Strength: Your ability to analyze your emotions
Possible Weakness: The tendency to be too self-critical
The Virgin is highly discriminating, but not necessarily as prudish at some might believe. In ancient times, a Virgin was a woman who was not the property of man, and therefore had the legal right to just say "no." Now, in modern times, you Virgos are known for your ability to be highly discriminating. When you are ready, however, to say yes, the laser-like focus of your passion is anything but prudish. Generally, you have a great deal of common sense. But you tend to be tough on yourself, finding flaws that others might overlook. Learning to overlook the small stuff now and then can be good for you.
Libra Rising---
Motto: "Is everybody happy?"
Greatest Strength: Bringing harmony to your environment
Possible Weakness: Unwillingness to deal with confrontation
Libra Rising is a sign of social skill, charm and grace. You approach the world with a distinct sense of harmony, seeking to create an environment in which others feel welcome. Your manner is likely to be quite attractive with a natural sense of style. You often put others first, setting aside own needs until theirs are met. While this is a delightful habit that most people appreciate, it can make it harder to stand up for yourself. Battling for others, for justice and fairness comes easily, but fighting for your own interests may be more difficult.
This stuff is kind of cool!! :)
Monday, November 7, 2011
its like summer;
There is no one on the internet right now to talk to so I am going to talk to this blog.
I am having trouble deciding how long in total I would like to be in Europe/au pair-ing... I think that between my 2 options for January, I would fit in better with Poland family than England family. From there, I have that definite Italy offer for April through the end of June.
At that point, if I get into UMiami and decide to go, then I will have to come back to the US so I can like move to Miami and get a job and somewhere to live and stuff.. BUT, the more likely thing is that I will not get into UMiami. Frankly, I don't know if I will get into ANY of the grad schools I'm applying to.
I think that I have pretty much decided however, to apply to start in January 2013 at the other schools.. I would do the same for UMiami, but they make you start in the fall for that program.
If I start grad school in January, then I will have time for a 3rd (and maybe a 4th if someone allows a 2 month commitment which is rare but not impossible) au pair experience. In that case, if I have already gone to Poland and Italy by that point, I would like to go to the UK or Ireland.. or France.
Its just hard I guess because now that I kind of have a potential idea of what I want to do with my life, I feel like I should not waste a lot of time galavanting through Europe.. BUT at the same time I know that this is the perfect time for me to travel because I am not yet tied down to anything. At all.
I really am in love with the Miami area though.. I might move down there whether I get into school down there or not.
Who knows.
I am having trouble deciding how long in total I would like to be in Europe/au pair-ing... I think that between my 2 options for January, I would fit in better with Poland family than England family. From there, I have that definite Italy offer for April through the end of June.
At that point, if I get into UMiami and decide to go, then I will have to come back to the US so I can like move to Miami and get a job and somewhere to live and stuff.. BUT, the more likely thing is that I will not get into UMiami. Frankly, I don't know if I will get into ANY of the grad schools I'm applying to.
I think that I have pretty much decided however, to apply to start in January 2013 at the other schools.. I would do the same for UMiami, but they make you start in the fall for that program.
If I start grad school in January, then I will have time for a 3rd (and maybe a 4th if someone allows a 2 month commitment which is rare but not impossible) au pair experience. In that case, if I have already gone to Poland and Italy by that point, I would like to go to the UK or Ireland.. or France.
Its just hard I guess because now that I kind of have a potential idea of what I want to do with my life, I feel like I should not waste a lot of time galavanting through Europe.. BUT at the same time I know that this is the perfect time for me to travel because I am not yet tied down to anything. At all.
I really am in love with the Miami area though.. I might move down there whether I get into school down there or not.
Who knows.
Sunday, November 6, 2011
i have a heart like the sea;
This week is going to be lame and filled with work at both places far too often.
But then..
November 12: my last Bread Bash
November 15: NYC
November 17: Erin comes to visit from Georgia??
November 22: last day at retail job
November 24: THANKSGIVING.
December __: last day at catering job
December 18: move out of apartment
December 20: taking the GRE
December 25: Christmas
December 28: fly to PARIS
This is what is happening with the rest of my year. This is good.
Now, as far as January, it looks like I'll be going to either England or Poland.
I am going to make this shit work.
It could be either: England 3 months, Italy 3 months (Milan, NOT Verona), ambiguity.
Or: Poland 3 months, Italy 3 months, ambiiguity.
Or: England 3 months, Poland 2 months, ambiguity.
Goodness.
This stuff is complicated but.. I can deal.
Both Polish families seem AMAZING.. It is going to be really hard for me to make this decision, but I am very blessed that I have a decision to make and that I am not going to be stuck in NC anymore. lol
I really like the Milan, Italy family.. they have 2 little adorable girls. And my desire to go to Italy remains, despite the negative experience I had with my previous Italian family (aka my post from Friday). Also, this whole grad school thing is causing me to kind of be in a pickle.. like.. I don't know whether or not I need to bank on going to grad school in the fall or not. I am considering applying to start 2nd semester (January) everywhere except UMiami.. That way, I would have time to go to 3 countries as an au pair, and then have some extra time to scope out places to live in Florida (because I am completely enamored with Miami all of a sudden.. Tampa is my 2nd choice) and jobs and the like. Who knows.
Life is complicated.
But then..
November 12: my last Bread Bash
November 15: NYC
November 17: Erin comes to visit from Georgia??
November 22: last day at retail job
November 24: THANKSGIVING.
December __: last day at catering job
December 18: move out of apartment
December 20: taking the GRE
December 25: Christmas
December 28: fly to PARIS
This is what is happening with the rest of my year. This is good.
Now, as far as January, it looks like I'll be going to either England or Poland.
I am going to make this shit work.
It could be either: England 3 months, Italy 3 months (Milan, NOT Verona), ambiguity.
Or: Poland 3 months, Italy 3 months, ambiiguity.
Or: England 3 months, Poland 2 months, ambiguity.
Goodness.
This stuff is complicated but.. I can deal.
Both Polish families seem AMAZING.. It is going to be really hard for me to make this decision, but I am very blessed that I have a decision to make and that I am not going to be stuck in NC anymore. lol
I really like the Milan, Italy family.. they have 2 little adorable girls. And my desire to go to Italy remains, despite the negative experience I had with my previous Italian family (aka my post from Friday). Also, this whole grad school thing is causing me to kind of be in a pickle.. like.. I don't know whether or not I need to bank on going to grad school in the fall or not. I am considering applying to start 2nd semester (January) everywhere except UMiami.. That way, I would have time to go to 3 countries as an au pair, and then have some extra time to scope out places to live in Florida (because I am completely enamored with Miami all of a sudden.. Tampa is my 2nd choice) and jobs and the like. Who knows.
Life is complicated.
a million dreams are in me;
Here's what I want for the next few years: Europe (England, Poland, Italy, Ireland).. and then I want to move to Miami, dye my hair red, get a Masters, and swim with dolphins. After that: who knows.
Here's what I want right now: sleep.
Here's what I want right now: sleep.
Friday, November 4, 2011
sick of everything;
Will someone please tell me why it is that every other day something incredibly shitty happens and I end up crying to my mother about it because there is no one else to talk to.
My "host family" has apparently magically found some girl who can au pair for them for a full year (illegally I presume? Because apparently for them breaking laws is JUST FINE) and want to have her come instead of me.
To that I say: Fuck you.
But at the same time, I HAVE NOWHERE TO GO AT ALL IF I DO NOT TO GO FUCKING ITALY. THIS IS NOT AN OKAY SITUATION.
I will have NO job NO apartment NO NOTHING. No prospects whatsoever.
My life is such a worthless pile of shit.
My "host family" has apparently magically found some girl who can au pair for them for a full year (illegally I presume? Because apparently for them breaking laws is JUST FINE) and want to have her come instead of me.
To that I say: Fuck you.
But at the same time, I HAVE NOWHERE TO GO AT ALL IF I DO NOT TO GO FUCKING ITALY. THIS IS NOT AN OKAY SITUATION.
I will have NO job NO apartment NO NOTHING. No prospects whatsoever.
My life is such a worthless pile of shit.
Thursday, November 3, 2011
you're saying a lot of words but I'm still not understanding;
LOL I am watching a case on the People's Court right now about this woman who did PR for an outdoor show and its SO RIDICULOUS. Ohmygoodness PR is the bigglest load of crap sometimes.. its just a lot of frilly words that mean very little. Judge Milian is like seriously woman wtf is this crap it means nothing. I am so amused. Why did I major in PR???!?!?! -____-
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