work it out;

clothing & makeup;

favorite affordable beauty products;

13 personal questions;

frivolous pursuits;

In 2013 I basically never blogged. I am going to attempt to change that this year, at least to an extent. In a year of 365 days, I should write at least 100 blog posts. Like... seriously. 

My new year's resolution situation is going okay so far... one of my resolutions was to get better about cleaning on a prompt, consistent basis. Still riding the struggle bus on that one, but the others are going quite well! 

I just feel SO much better when I do things instead of going home and watching tv all evening. Like last night, even though I worked late, I came home, ate dinner, worked out, showered, washed the dishes, got my clothes & crap ready for today... I mean, these are kind of like lame, uninteresting activities. BUT those things are much better than letting the dishes pile up and being lazy, yes? 

Another thing I've been wanting to do for MONTHS now is start making youtube videos again. I was super active on youtube back in like 2008-2010, when Michael Buckley was at the height of his popularity and collab channels were the best thing ever. 

I definitely wish  I had kept it up, but at the same time I know I didn't have ANY time junior year of college, wasn't in the right place mentally/emotionally (nor did I have time) senior year of college, wouldn't have had the technology to do videos while I was in Europe. Then the move to NYC happened, and my life was in a constant state of flux for like 1.5 years. BUT NOW is a wonderful time to get back at it because I have a much more stable life, a predictable schedule, and a long term job & apartment. 

Also, I've grown up a lot, and I think I have a unique & useful perspective now, and actually do feel like I have something legitimate to offer. I am pretty confident, enough so that even if my videos get like 20 views each for the next year, I'll be okay. I will have tried, and I will have spent my time doing something enjoyable. 

I want to make beauty & style videos, healthy living tips, vlogs, tags... I just want to play and be in the community. I am good enough to be there, and I will not be intimidated by the ridiculous chasm there is on youtube between the popular and the unpopular.

I mean, I know I'll never get to like.. Zoella status or anything, and I am totally okay with that. I don't want to be a FAMOUS youtuber. I would like to be a respected one though.

Anyway, here is my intro video: 

Videos are going to happen twice a week. The party starts tomorrow.

resolutions!

So here are my 2013 resolutions and my thoughts/how I did at them:

`   1.   Do more things just because I can and because it would make me happy. Be free and enjoy.

I don’t think I did this as much as I should have. Sometimes, yes, but not terribly often. I tend to get stuck in my own head and within the limitations I put on myself be they time, money, what I think my priority should be, etc. Maybe I should work on this.

2. Stop doubting people who I know love me. Feel more secure in my good friendships and stop worrying that I am not good enough or that any tiny mistake I make will end a friendship  or make me unworthy of that person. Because real friendships don't just end out of the blue like that.

I got better about this, but still have a wee bit to work on.

3. Stop worrying about what other people will think of the decisions I make.

I think I just grew out of this, so accomplished, I guess!

4. Continue to read often.

I did soooo well at the beginning of the year.. the first few months actually, but then I just completely slacked off. I really want to work on this in 2014.

5. Take some more time to be creative in some way. Be it writing, ukulele, art.. anything.

I did not do this. I definitely need to find some kind of hobby or outlet so that I have something else in my life other than work, but I’m still working on figuring out what I want that to be. Maybe youtube videos. Maybe going to see theatre more often, or just keeping up with different events to go to and actually going to them.. who knows.

6. Don't feel tied down. If I want to do something, do it. Don't feel like I need to have anyone else's approval or accompaniment.

Meh I kind of did this I guess? This is a hard year to asses because I was literally on the road for the first half of the year. But nevertheless, I don’t remember feeling too tied down..? idk.

7. Work on getting better at sharing my stories or feelings with others. And by others I mean Jenn. I need to learn how to elaborate on things and know that there are people who care enough to listen.

I HAVE GOTTEN A LOT BETTER AT THIS

8. Get a full time job (like legit full time with benefits and stuff).

I DID THIS

9. Don't get depressed if I cannot fulfill #8. As long as I do my best to get there, know that is enough.

THIS DOESN’T EVEN APPLY BECAUSE I DID #8!

10. Whenever I have really negative thoughts, get out of my own head. Think of something positive, or talk to someone. Break the cycle of negativity and the feelings of failure and worthlessness.

I tried to do this, and definitely in the latter part of the year got better at being open about how I’m feeling... still have a little way to go on this, but definitely made progress.

NOW, for this year’s resolutions.

1. Work out more. Literally, every day that I have time to work out, I want to do it. Throughout 2013, I got into running, thereby re-awakening my zumba-loving soul, and I started working out a LOT more often than ever before. I honestly really like working out- it makes me feel so much better, and I definitely want to make it a huge priority this year.
   
2. Eat better. This is something else I’ve gotten a lot more aware of/good at in 2013, but I just want to take it to the next level this year- I need to work on not having any sweets in my apartment, and if they show up, I need to not eat them. I have a notorious sweet tooth. I also want to stay more conscious of how much I’ve eaten throughout the day, because I often find myself being like “Well, all ive had today is ____, so I can eat this…” but then later I remember that I also ate like three other things. That’s where I get into trouble.
   
   
3. Add some variety to my routine. The thing is, having a full time job comes with a full time routine. And of course, my routine has become very much work, then come home and watch tv all evening. I need to use my evenings to their full potential, and my weekends as well. At first I’m sure it will seem exhausting to come home and cook, work out, clean, read, do something creative.. or whatever, BUT I am sure it will help with my boredom and my sense of accomplishment.
   
   
4. Become consistent at cleaning. I really need to be better at washing the dishes every day, keeping my room swept and my rug clean (I swear that rug is actually just a cat hair magnet), keeping the bathroom clean… just all the things. This is something else that will seem quite daunting/exhausting at first but will definitely be helpful in the long run.
   
   
5. Read more. Like when I am on the subway, instead of playing Candy Crush, I should read. That is all.
   
   
6. Go on a trip. I want to take like a week off work at some point and go somewhere really cool. 

That's all! Hopefully these will go a bit better than last year. Happy 2014 everyone! :)