Friday, October 22, 2010

raise your glass if you are wrong in all the right ways;

I am in a really good place right now, emotionally and geographically. I am in love with the world and really pleased over all with my life and the people in it. I am sitting on my bed at my parents house after having spend a wonderful 24 hours in Wilmington with Jamie... It was absolutely beautiful there. We went to a snazzy fondue place with some of her friends, and then today I went to the beach and explored downtown by myself while she was in class. I went to a few really cute boutiques that were really expensive.. but I kind of wanted to buy everything. It was some really cool, couture inspired stuff. And honestly, I guess it was cheap for what it was. If it had been in NYC it would have been way more expensive. Nevertheless, I saved my monies. For dinner we had some amazing Japanese food, and then I came home soon after.
My father made both a pumpkin pie and a belated birthday cake for me.
Annnd I am going shopping at some point and going to see Catherine at some point which has not happened in FAR too long, and I am off work for the first time on a weekend since I got hired. AND LIFE IS JUST GOOD.
To add icing to the cake, Stacy London is coming to Greensboro in November and I AM MOST DEF GOING TO SEE HER! And Kayla might come! And Ashley is also trying to convince her parents to allow her to join! (I'm glad I don't have to ask permission for such things.. lol.)
And I just love all my friends a lot.
Life is so happy.

But you know, it saddens me that not all of my lovely friends are as happy with the world as I have become. I feel like I am really mature, and have always been ahead of the maturing curve in a lot of ways, but like, it really saddens me to see someone I adore so upset about something that is clearly not even a problem.
It takes a lot for me to back off and not try to step in and be the hero in another person's battle. But I think I've learned to do it.
Because honestly, there comes a point when people just need one specific thing to get over their problem. One. For me, my problem with confidence was overcome with Stacy London. And a few years ago when I was terrified of getting my license, I had to just make the decision to get over that myself. Nothing anyone said or did was helping me.

Anyway, what I'm saying here is, I like to help, I really do. But there comes a point when I know as well as the other person that nothing I am going to say is going to help them.
There comes a point when you just have to let things happen as they will.
There comes a point when you just have to start believing in yourself.

Well, that probably made a lot less sense than I wanted it to, but oh well.

Here is a photo from the beach today!


:) Life is glorious.

Also, this is a random quote that I kind of like
"Now I know the things I know, I do the things I do, and if you do not like me so, then to hell, my love, with you."

Its an odd quote, but I like it.

I can't decide if I should watch another Mary Kate & Ashley movie, or just go to bed...

<3

Monday, October 18, 2010

my strongest suit;

Today my voice was still lost, so Jordi had to do a lot of speaking for me, but scene shop was not agonizing at all!
I got to cut wood like a boss, and go up on the grid and take things down and stuff, and then Jordi & I got to cut metal and be really bad-ass. It was cool.
And hey, Aida is starting as we speak.
Its going to be AWESOME.
I love watching theatre magic happen. :)

Sunday, October 17, 2010

compare where you are to where you wanna be & you'll get nowhere;

Two posts in one day!
I guess having lost my voice, I am using this as a means by which to communicate with the world. lol.

Anyway!
Things I need to do:

1. Start eating better. I feel fat. And since I don't have time to exercise, I need to at least try my best to cut down on food consumption. Although honestly, I usually only eat 1-2 meals a day..almost never have snacks. I don't get it. But whatever. Eating better. I need to do it I guess.

2. Grow my hair out longer (let it happen more than add it to the to-do list. But I want it longer, and then I want to get some more layers in it.. and I want to make it be wavy more often.

3. Start writing more often.

4. Learn to play the guitar. It has been sitting in my room at my parents house for years. I want to bring it back over fall break and maybe actually use it sometimes.

5. Learn to step out of my comfort zone & take risks.

i have hope inside is not a heart, but a kaleidoscope;

It has been far too long since I've blogged.
Thus, a life update.

'As you Like it' has been over for one week now. It ate my life, as most of you know, but it was a really fun & fulfilling experience that allowed me to meet some awesome people, re-realize how passionate I am about theatre, and gave me some serious bonding time with Jordi. :) She is one of the best people I know, and definitely one of the best friends I have. Loveee her!

School is ridic. Luckily I don't have a ton of work outside of class, because if I did I'd be failing ALL my classes. But that presents a problem in itself because I find myself having no idea what's actually going on in any of my classes... Thus, when I do have to do homework and/or study, I find myself completely lost and it takes a lot longer than it should.

Work is going well! They want to make me a trainer at some point (soon I hope) which would involve a new name-tag and a tiny raise.. the self-satisfaction of it is the only thing that matters to me about it really. I am kind of competitive when it comes to things like that, so I am working my ass off to prove to the managers that I am a kick-ass employee. Which I think I am! lol. :)

In other work related news, I am very very attracted to one of the managers.. He looks like Elijah Wood, is probably only a couple years older than me, is absolutely delightful, loves the live music scene, is ALWAYS in a really good mood, is sweet/helpful/kind/not a douchebag about being in charge, smells really good.. is hilarious and fun. I just adore him.
Is this even like.. appropriate?? I don't know whether it would be or not. But he is absolutely precious and I would DEFINITELY date him if he showed interest.. just sayin.
Advice, y'all??

ALSO! The best news yet!
I WENT TO SEE EFFING SARA BAREILLES IN CONCERT ON FRIDAY. It was so incredible. I ADORE her.
Pre-show, Taylor and I went to get some yummy foods at The Loop, and then I had to return some movies at Blockbuster, and then we were off to Cat's Cradle.
We got there about an hour before the doors were supposed to open, and we stood there (sans jackets because together we ALWAYS forget jackets) until a bit after 7, when they finally opened the doors. We were both quite eager to get inside because not only was it cold, but we were both wearing heels. However, we get inside and LO AND BEHOLD- STANDING ROOM ONLY. So I had Taylor save us a spot while I went to the bathroom, and then we switched places. The crowd was MASSIVE. We were standing about 4 rows back, which was great, but my feet were KILLING me and I was SOOOO TIRED.. When Sara finally got onstage, I was thrilled, but then I was like oh yeah, she's going to introduce her opening act and then peace out. Although, to my delight, her opening act had an opening act, and that act was an adorable new singer/songwriter named Holly Conlan. Look out for her because I think she's going to be really big. She is super cute, super talented, and kind of a fusion of Sara, Regina Spektor, Ingrid Michaelson and Lenka. Fierce girl is going places. Anyway, she was great. I've already downloaded several of her songs and plan to download the rest soon.
ANYWAY, the actual opening act was Greg Laswell. He was uh.. fine... but not great. Not super entertaining. I was less than amused. And my feet were in even more pain by this point and I was even more sleepy and yeah.. it was not cute. (ALSO they let him play like a million songs and Holly only got to play like FOUR. WHAT.)
After that, the dudes had to reset the ENTIRE FREAKING STAGE for like half an hour (literally, maybe more) while we all STOOD THERE IN PAIN AGONY AND EXHAUSTION waiting for Sara to perform. I was pissed and SO over it. lol. I realize I was being immature and stupid and should have just sucked it up, but I honestly thought I was going to pass out. It was a bad time.
HOWEVER, when Sara FINALLY graced the stage, life became good again. I decided to take my shoes off, which was a definite risk of tetanus, but it was worth it. I felt alive again once my feet touched the ground, flat. (Men have no idea the agony women go through to look good, for real.) Anyway, I was VERY impressed with the awesomeness of the concert. Lighting effects were SUPER COOL. I had no idea Cat's Cradle had such good tech abilites! And Sara is an INCREDIBLE performer. She makes the audience feel really involved and keeps the energy way up the whole time. SO entertaining. Just a wonderful time, over all. Oh, and the woman is hilarious. And she curses like a sailor, which I kind of adore. I like it when people curse in a funny/classy way. Because not many of us can pull it off. lol. Anyway, THE SHOW WAS SO SO GOOD. I took about a million photos.
Afterwards, Taylor and I stood outside for a really long time in the really cold weather still without jackets to wait to meet Sara... We met Holly, who was super sweet & humble... very quiet & demure. We both took photos with her. She is quite stylish too! The Stacy London in me was proud. Anyway, we were outside for a like a year. And then it became like 12:15am and Taylor decided to give up and wait for me in the car. Upon her departure, I made friends with a delightful Asian couple and almost got hit by the sketchy white van in which some of Sara's band's equipment travels. If I had gotten hit, it would have been a much better story.
APPROXIMATELY A HUNDRED HOURS LATER, SARA CAME OUTSIDE. I had decided by this point that due to my lack of anything for her to sign, I was going to ask her to sign my bra. I realize this was a risky thing to ask, and my plan was to give her no pressure to say yes, SO anyway.. The Asians got pics/autographs before me, so I took the pictures for them. AND then it was my turn. I was like "So, I don't have anything for you to sign..." Sara interrupted and said, "That's ok because you've got a SUPER cute bow!" (referring to my giant purple flower) I thanked her and then the Asian yelled something at me, and I was like, "..so uh, I was wondering, would you sign my bra?! You don't have to say yes. Its fine." She said, "How about the strap of it? Does it HAVE a strap?!" (I liked the way she emphasized that second question.) I said "Yeah it does but its very thin!" She said something like, "its ok its going to be so cute!" as I dug out my bra strap and she signed it (The Asian girl yelled GO KELLEY) and Sara threatened to track us down if any footage of this moment ended up on youtube. I assured her that no such thing would happen, and she smiled (very sincerely actually) and then we took our photo together, and I thanked her and told her she was amazing or something like that, and I was off.
It was SUCH a wonderful experience.

I love meeting people I admire.
And I am seeing more and more my weird need to have some unique/absurd story after meeting such a person... (Brendan James signed my pants and practically molested me in the process, Stacy London gave me a beer in front of 500 people, and Sara signed my bra...) I like to make an impression I guess.

I am a strange bird.
But I like it that way.

Uhmm also thanks to that lovely concert experience, I have lost my voice. COMPLETELY. I had coffee with honey and hot tea with honey at work today, and cough drops, and tomato soup... nothing is helping and I am getting quite bothered by being a mute! lol

Fall break is soon, also. I am pretty stoked about that. I am in desperate need of a vacation.

Thursday, October 7, 2010

it can only change shape;

"I believe a strong woman may be stronger than a man, particularly if she happens to have love in her heart. I guess a loving woman is indestructible."
-John Steinbeck

Sunday, October 3, 2010

piling up tomorrows;

LAYER 1: ON THE OUTSIDE.

Name: Kelley

Birth Date: October 7th which is SOON GAH I'M SO OLD.

Current Location: backstage

Hair Color: brown

Righty/Lefty: lefty like Oprah

LAYER 2: ON THE INSIDE.

Your fear: failure, hair removal creams, ticks, crime, car problems, etc

Your dream of the perfect date: (Let's make the setting NYC) ..something cute/fun like eating Chinese take-out in the park and then maybe going to see a bad play we could talk through or going to like.. the wax museum. somewhere silly. and then we would leave and be walking down the street when it would start to rain and then we would have to run down into the subway and we would ride back to one of our apartments and make some coffee and sit on the balcony and drink it and talk about something interesting. I just made that all up.

Goals you’d like to achieve: there are a lot. the biggest priorities at this point being go to Paris, finish senior year successfully, become a grown-up successfully, and be a person who has COME ALIVE. (aka live happily and fully)

LAYER 3: YESTERDAY, TODAY, TOMORROW.

Your thoughts first waking up: GAHHHH NOOO

Your best physical feature: uhm I have no idea.

Your bed time: I love staying up late and sleeping late but I NEVER get to anymore because I always have to wake up early.. so I go to bed at like 11:30 or 12.

Your most missed memory: CFRT in general

LAYER 4: YOUR PICK.

Pepsi or Coke: DR PEPPER

McDonald’s or Burger King: McDonalds.. love their coffee

Single or Group Dates: single

Adidas or Nike: neither

Chocolate or Vanilla: Chocolate

Cappuccino or Coffee: I'll take either!

LAYER 5: DO YOU.

Smoke: noooooo

Cuss: occasionally, but only in the company of myself or my mother

Take showers: duh

Have a crush: haha yeah sure. Rider Strong, come away with me.

Like(d) school: ish

Believe in yourself: in some ways.

Believe what goes around comes around: ... it depends I guess..?

Believe everything happens for a reason: i suppose

Think you’re a health freak: nah

LAYER 6: IN THE PAST MONTHs.

Gone to the mall: Yes.

Been on stage: does backstage count? I do that every day!

Eaten sushi: yes!

Been hurt: ohhhyes

Dyed your hair: no

LAYER 7: HAVE YOU EVER.

Played a stripping game: No.

Kissed the same sex: No.

Changed who you were to fit in: I don't think so

LAYER 8: GETTING OLD.

Age you’re hoping to be married by: maybe never

Number of kids you’re planning on having: I MIGHT adopt wayyyyyyy in the future but I don't want kids naturally

LAYER 9: IN A GIRL/GUY.

Best eye color: Whichever.

Best hair color: Whichever.

Short or long hair: not too long

Fat or fit: normal I guess?

Looks or personality: both are nice

Fun or serious: balance

LAYER 10: WHAT WERE YOU DOING.

1 MINUTE AGO: this

1 HOUR AGO: a quick change with my...cub.

1 WEEK AGO: this show

1 YEAR AGO: rehearsing for Rent

LAYER 11: FINISH THIS SENTENCE

I FEEL: sleepy.

I HATE: hate

I HIDE: (..I can't think of anything)

I NEED: money

I LOVE: love

Friday, October 1, 2010

if you miss the boat, you ain't sailin;

“If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude. Don’t complain.” -Maya Angelou

Love this quote.
I need to start living by it more often.