Right now I am sitting here with people I really really love and all I can think about is how FREAKING OUT I am about class tomorrow. I am going to do this research study thing before class, which is fine, and will probably be the most relaxing part of my day. Then I have to go to the class where nothing I do is ever good enough, and I get to be embarrassed in front of the whole class over how craptastic my story is... I hate it. I am about to throw up just thinking about it. I work so hard in that stupid class and then I never do well on anything EVER. It sucks. And it is even worse how condescending the professor is towards me and how the whole class is well aware of my lack of writing talent.
And then, in my next class, I get to be a part of a group presentation for which I am extremely unprepared. BUHHHHHHHHHHH. I suck at everything.
I love Erin. She makes me happy.
Times like this are what keep me going.
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
lahve lahve lahve
 | |||
 | I will marry Erin. | ||
  | After a wild honeymoon, We will settle down in NYC in our fabulous House. | ||
 | We will have 2 kid(s) together. | ||
  | Our family will zoom around in a yellow horse. | ||
 | I will spend my days as a theatre critic, and live happily ever after. | ||
 | |||
i've never once heard anyone talk about something that matters.
Dear you,
Basically, the situation here is: my life is not any fuller with you in it.. and I don't really miss you. Because I have learned to let go of people who clearly don't want me in their lives.. or people who could care less either way. I don't know why you were the way you were, I don't know if you ever think of me or not, but either way, if you change- I can see myself giving in... So this may not be the end, but I am not going to try to make this work any more.
Dear you,
The truth is, my life is not any less full with you OUT of it. I thought it would be weird, painful, letting you go.. But it really is not. Not at all. It is unusual I suppose, but the fact of the matter is- you're fake. You're a paper girl in a paper town working towards a paper future. And that just doesn't work with me. I don't like it when people care about paper things. So, I guess it was because you were so paper thin, so breakable once I saw who you really are, that's why I didn't have much trouble letting go. So.. its been a long time, and you haven't changed, and frankly- I've got better things to do.
Basically, the situation here is: my life is not any fuller with you in it.. and I don't really miss you. Because I have learned to let go of people who clearly don't want me in their lives.. or people who could care less either way. I don't know why you were the way you were, I don't know if you ever think of me or not, but either way, if you change- I can see myself giving in... So this may not be the end, but I am not going to try to make this work any more.
Dear you,
The truth is, my life is not any less full with you OUT of it. I thought it would be weird, painful, letting you go.. But it really is not. Not at all. It is unusual I suppose, but the fact of the matter is- you're fake. You're a paper girl in a paper town working towards a paper future. And that just doesn't work with me. I don't like it when people care about paper things. So, I guess it was because you were so paper thin, so breakable once I saw who you really are, that's why I didn't have much trouble letting go. So.. its been a long time, and you haven't changed, and frankly- I've got better things to do.
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
to me, you are perfect.
I feel like a lot of times I have this delusion in my head that I am actually the person I really want to be, and then I get afraid that I'm absolutely not that person at all..
that probably made little to no sense.
But like
sometimes I feel like all I really have to offer people is love, encouragement, support..willingness to help.. all those intangible things
but on the other hand i struggle so so much with stupid things like school and anything that requires talent. lol.
AND I DIDN'T JUST SAY THAT BECAUSE I WANT A PITY PARTY.
I am saying it because honestly I sometimes think that those things that I mentioned before, that I am good at, that are the essence of the person I really want to be, are my purpose.
And maybe that's right.
I don't know.
I don't even know why I just said all that.
But I do know
that this school year has been the most awesome slash hellish thing I have ever experienced.
I have grown SO MUCH as a person, I think, and also as a stage manager, and as a friend. I hope.
Basically, times where me & Leigh and Erin are spinning around and screaming on the tire swing are times I will always remember. And planning my NYC apartment with Erin-all those amazing thing's we're going to get. And staying up on the futon till 4am watching multiple episodes of 'Never Mind the Buzzcocks' and painting our nails and LOLing our pants off. And when Katherine reads bad fanfiction aloud to us. And reading Jordi's palm and playing 'would you rather' for two hours instead of doing homework. And having carpet time (and my personal favorite, cuddle time) with Leigh. And wandering around campus with Taylor. And hula hooping for hours in the hallway with Taylor & Erin, just waiting for someone we know to walk by. Or cast parties where everyone is dressed in ridiculous costumes and just being together. Or facebook chatting with Jordi DURING rehearsal, while sitting next to each other. Or h2h practices where I act like a fool and Logan and the altos all give me strange looks. Or finding BEST FRIENDS where I thought I would be completely alone.
That is what this year has brought me.
And I would not trade that for the world.
that probably made little to no sense.
But like
sometimes I feel like all I really have to offer people is love, encouragement, support..willingness to help.. all those intangible things
but on the other hand i struggle so so much with stupid things like school and anything that requires talent. lol.
AND I DIDN'T JUST SAY THAT BECAUSE I WANT A PITY PARTY.
I am saying it because honestly I sometimes think that those things that I mentioned before, that I am good at, that are the essence of the person I really want to be, are my purpose.
And maybe that's right.
I don't know.
I don't even know why I just said all that.
But I do know
that this school year has been the most awesome slash hellish thing I have ever experienced.
I have grown SO MUCH as a person, I think, and also as a stage manager, and as a friend. I hope.
Basically, times where me & Leigh and Erin are spinning around and screaming on the tire swing are times I will always remember. And planning my NYC apartment with Erin-all those amazing thing's we're going to get. And staying up on the futon till 4am watching multiple episodes of 'Never Mind the Buzzcocks' and painting our nails and LOLing our pants off. And when Katherine reads bad fanfiction aloud to us. And reading Jordi's palm and playing 'would you rather' for two hours instead of doing homework. And having carpet time (and my personal favorite, cuddle time) with Leigh. And wandering around campus with Taylor. And hula hooping for hours in the hallway with Taylor & Erin, just waiting for someone we know to walk by. Or cast parties where everyone is dressed in ridiculous costumes and just being together. Or facebook chatting with Jordi DURING rehearsal, while sitting next to each other. Or h2h practices where I act like a fool and Logan and the altos all give me strange looks. Or finding BEST FRIENDS where I thought I would be completely alone.
That is what this year has brought me.
And I would not trade that for the world.
Friday, March 19, 2010
30 days
Okay, so mostly inspired by Catherine, I have recently located the brilliance that is this 30 day blog meme.. You're actually supposed to do one per day, but like a fool, I am combining them into one MASSIVE blog post. Get ready. Here it is.
Favorite Song:
I can honestly never pick my favorite song. So.. how about I make a list of some amazing songs? yes? yes. I'll follow it with a line or verse from the song so you can see why I love it so much. Also I'll try to do a diverse assortment so you can get how my brain works and what kind of stuff I like to listen to. lol. :) (these are in no particular order.)
-Devil in Me- Kate Voegele
"I had a suspicion but didn't want to believe you a liar.
You had a mission to prove me right.
You took my trust, ground it to dust;
I found out I know better... *chorus*
...You're entirely to blame
And I'm so tired of explaining
The sensation of no Novacaine.
I don't have a prayer if there is no charity in your heart
couldn't you spare me, I've done my part"
-Manhattan from the Sky- Kate Voegele
"I ain't buying the false anxiety, let your fortress fall;
what is it going to take to get you there?
If fear was money, you'd be a millionaire;
all alone in a leather swivel chair counting stacks of gold."
-Speechless- Lady Gaga
"But I'm a loser in love so baby; raise a glass to mend all the broken hearts of all my wrecked up friends..."
-The Love Always Remains- MGMT
"We'll never feel so safe again, but love always remains"
-If its Love- Train
"but you are the greatest thing about me"
-Chai Tea Latte- Angel Taylor
"Cause without you my flavor's a little plain & no one likes plain things;
seeing you in person is so much better than my thoughts & my dreams"
-I & Love & You- Avett Brothers
"ahh Brooklyn, Brooklyn take me in; are you aware the shape I'm in?
my hands they shake my head it spins; ah Brooklyn, Brooklyn take me in."
-Caroline- Brandi Carlile
"I've seen things so beautiful, all around this broken world
that pale in comparison to you."
-Manchester- Brendan James
"Like all the town she fights, she prays she'll do it right,
with nature's sounds to guide her safely through the night.
All of Manchester together to carry on the weight that is life,
that has changed over night.
Let the good lend their hand and the old teach the young.
This is all of Manchester together to carry us on"
-Vegas- Sara Bareilles
"I'm gonna lose my mind and sail the ocean.
'Cause somebody told me there were cherry blue skies.
I'm gonna fix my mind with a final destination;
And have a deep sleep upon a sweet dream I'll never realize"
Favorite movie:
I like a lot of movies. But I don't really see very many. Odd, but true. A recent favorite of mine is 'The Lovely Bones.' I thought it lived out the vision of the book PERFECTLY. It was seriously wonderful. Everyone in it was amazing. It was a visual masterpiece. Absolutely epically wonderful.
Some others I am particularly fond of are Ever After, The Pursuit of Happyness, The Secret Life of Bees, Edward Scissorhands, and the newer version of The Producers. :)
Favorite tv show:
gotta be the wonderful 'Doctor Who' .. it changed my life & makes me look at everything completely differently.
Favorite book:
Jane Eyre is my favorite book of all time. Close behind are Ragtime & Les Miserables. But of course The Lovely Bones is also on that list.. & lots more.
Favorite quote:
oh my. I am a quote junkie, for real.
Here is one that I really really really love.
" We are but the atoms in the incessant human struggle towards the light that shines in the darkness..." -Emma Goldman
Also, in Nicholas Nickelby, when Smike tells Nicky Nick, "You are my home."
ALSO! THE LITTLE PRINCE! "One runs the risk of weeping a little when one allows himself to be tamed."
There are so many more. I love quotes a lot.
Whatever tickles your fancy:
hmm. for this, I would just like to say that this school year has been the most difficult one yet. And I am still really struggling and have a lot more to do before its over. But despite the fact that the academics has been hell, I am SO SO THANKFUL for all my amazing friends. This is the first time perhaps in my life that I have felt so at peace with the fact that I have people who I love and WHO LOVE ME BACK who I can turn to whenever I need support and encouragement. You have all changed my life.
New people I have met this year/gotten a lot closer to:
Jordi
Erin
Tara
Katherine
Molly
Carolyn
RA Becca
Asian Becca
Jean
Logan
the cast of rent
the cast of cats
...you are all magical and I love you.
Picture that makes you happy/sad:
Don't judge me. I edited this photo when I was in 10th grade. Its from when I was in the musical Ragtime- and that is Susan standing next to me. That show, and that woman, changed my life so significantly. She was like a mother to me, a best friend, she was amazing. And she inspired me like no one else ever has. We kept in touch for a really long time after, and I saw her when I went to NYC senior year.. But then she stopped replying to my emails, and I have no idea what she's doing unless I google her. (She is kinda famous so she is very google-able.) Anyway, this photo makes me happy & sad simultaneously because the memory of her is magic but the loss of her light in my life is devastating.
Photo that you took:
:) When I went to NYC October 4, 2009. I saw Next to Normal & met Stacy London and both were bliss.
Photo of you taken over 10 years ago:
Okay, so I don't have any pics that old on this computer... but this is from 8th grade. And that was quite a while ago. It was taken at the art show where I had made that fake stained glass thingy I liked to refer to as the 'electric church' .. yeahhh.
Photo taken of you recently:
This is the most recently tagged photo of me on facebook. So here it is. It was from our hall's 'decades party'..and as you can see I dressed like the 80s because I was going to an 80s party immediately following. lol. People in the pic (from left to right) are: colorguard Becca, asian Becca, RA Becca, Tara, Katherine (dressed as Michael Jackson), me, and Erin the love of my life. haha. We look like straight up lesbians (BAHAHA GET IT) here... but actually we are both gay men. ;)
Whatever tickles your fancy:
I really like to know people's personality types. Tell me yours!! I am an ENFJ. :D
A fictional book:
I am currently madly in love with both Paper Towns and Looking for Alaska by John Green. I have ranted about them both in previous blogs, so I won't repeat the information, but everyone should read them. They are about dealing with life and finding out what is really important and what it means to live for someone else.
A fanfic:
I read one fanfic the other day in which the Doctor came through a tiny gap in the walls of the universe when Rose was an old lady and basically on her death bed. Cloney was still there but basically it was implied that while Cloney and Rose loved each other and stayed together all that time, it was really the Doctor who Rose loved, and he loved her, and it was the sweetest thing ever. I would link it if I had any idea who wrote it or where I found it. lol
A song that makes you cry:
not gonna lie, Fix You by Coldplay always really tugs at my heartstrings. I love it so much.
An art piece:
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/6/69/VanGogh-starry_night_edit.jpg
This is probably my favorite painting of all time. I am in love with it. I just think this style is so gorgeous and pretty flippin genius as well.
But of course, 'A Sunday Afternoon on the Island of La Grande Jatte' by George Seurat also holds a special place in my heart. :)
Anything:
uhmm Sarai & I met Lisa Whelchel. This is the proof. :)
A talent of yours:
uh.. stage managing.
A hobby of yours:
uh.. stage managing. lol.
A recipe:
FRUITY BUDDHA- vanilla vodka, blueberry vodka, orange juice, cranberry juice. DELICIOUS.
A website:
http://www.japanesebirdcookingspaghetti.com/
Best thing ever.
A youtube video:
David Tennant is PRECIOUS.
Whatever tickles your fancy:
if you let love be organic & pure, it may really surprise you.
that is something I know for sure.
Your day, in great detail:
I wish I could write this about yesterday because today is hell.
SO I AM GOING TO.
Yesterday after having stayed up way too late, I got up at 8am so I could get ready for my 9:30 class. So I got dressed and put on my jeans that actually de-emphasize my bubble butt, my purple cami, my 'love' tank, and my donna noble cardigan, did my hair & makeup, checked the internet like always, ate a poptart & gave Leigh the other one, then got my crap together and put on my purple bejeweled flats and went to class. I sat there in my Philosophy class and didn't really pay a whole lot of attention, and instead looked at tumblr and did other useless/stupid things. After class, I came back to my room and ate a sandwich and a campbells tomato soup at hand, talked to my lovely roomie for a while, and then went into Erin's room where she forced me to watch selected scenes from 'New Moon'.. which was SO FUNNY because absolutely no one in that movie can act and the plot is such crap. Then Erin and I both had to go to class at 12:30 so I left and was like 2 minutes late to my boring slave trade class. But it was ok because its a big lecture. So I sat there next to Taylor and took some notes and whatnot.. nothing too exciting happened. Then after class Taylor was going to eat and somehow I was hungry again so I decided to go with her. So we were on our way to Alpine when I saw Erin quite a distance away, so I texted her like a creeper & said 'turn around' and she did, and then I brought her to Alpine with us. We ate yummy bagels and saw a person in a dog costume AND a person in an elephant costume, and Erin is afraid of mascots so that was quite traumatic. After that, we came back to the dorm and laid on Erin's futon and read Syfy's Alice fanfiction and Sally fanfic and fanfic by this girl who is basically Sally in real life. Then Taylor went to another class and then me & Erin & Katherine laid on each other (Anna came in and out of this room of craziness), and continued to read fanfic and such. Taylor returned like an hour and a half later at which point Erin had control of her laptop again and we read HOW U A THUG tweets and she fed her fish and then we (along with Anna) went to Light Years. Taylor bought a pretty ring, but none of the rest of us bought anything. Then we went to dinner at Jack Spratt where we thankfully did not have to listen to live jazz and ate food. THEN we went to the indian man store and looked at cute accessories & weird clothes, and Erin bought a cute flower that goes in your hair. It was a wise purchase. Because its freakin adorable. Then we all had to pee on the way back, so we did so at this one big fancy building where I mistakenly thought the walls were closing in on us in the bathroom. Then we came back to the dorm where we had to quickly prepare for this talent show thingy where my lovely friends were going to wear goofy hats and sing... (I chose to stage manage).. So we gathered silly hats and lyrics papers and stood around and then walked to connor dorm. There, we stood around and for some reason I began to feel like utter crap and decided to eat unhealthy food anyway.. And finally it was their turn to sing! So I passed out lyrics for everyone and whatnot and then sang songs and were PRECIOUS and I loved them all. Then I collected their hats and we went back to our dorm. Then, Leigh and I hung out with Erin on her futon and Erin showed Leigh the 2nd half of 'Alice' and then Leigh went to do work and I went to shower. After my shower, I drank some coffee and shared some thin mints with Erin and we watched Scrubs and I laid on her because that's what I do, and then I went to bed. The end.
Your week, in great detail:
This week has not been to exciting. Sunday I came back to school after having a lovely & relaxing spring break.. I think I went to dinner with people and then did nothing. Maybe homework.
Monday I was awoken by Leslie & Leigh.. so I got up and hung out with them and talked and then I went to class and came back here and ate.. I don't know. Let me get my planner. *goes to get it* Oh. then we had that cats meeting. And then Leigh and I came back to the dorm to meet people and go to KURAMA YAY for Becca's bday dinner. While there, we met the king of the world and ate seaweed that tasted like BACON NO LIE and named our waiter Starheart & decided that he must be Jude Law's younger brother. Then we went to yopo and moseyed on franklin and then starheart had erin's tax form so I ran back to Kurama to retrieve it with her. Then we came back and probably did nothing.
Tuesday I went to both my classes (and complimented that with a nap between them) and went to lunch with Taylor and then did homework all afternoon I think.. and then hung out with Erin i think.
Wednesday.. class, LOTS OF HOMEWORK FOR HOURS, h2h... erin time? i think so.
Thursday was the day I explained in detail before..
Today was Friday and I got up at 10, got ready, went & did a research study thing for JOMC which got done super quick so then I went to visit Erin at Light Years..then I went to that craptastic class and hated my life and wanted to kill myself for a bit so I came back here and listened to emo music and ate easy mac & an apple and drank coffee. Then Leigh & I went to her house to get my car and on the way back traffic was HORRIBLE and I got pissed again. Then I came back here & watched tv and worked on this blog. Then Taylor called and then I called my mom and then I called Leigh and then I called Sarai and then I went to eat and bskis and after we wanted to go visit Erin at the Varsity but she wasnt in the window. boo. SO, we headed on over to the battle house for the dance party at which I wasn't feeling too great so I sat around and watched Sarai eat and then I left and now I'm here.
Tomorrow I'm going to Molly's recital, then hanging out with Taylor and Caroline, then going somewhere w/ Sarai, then probably coming back here and eating and doing work and playing with Erin.
Sunday I am going to see Little House on the Prairie the Musical with my mother and Renee, and then I am coming back here, probably taking my car to its new spot at the Bible Church, then going to h2h. the end.
This month, in great detail:
March 1-4 I was very busy with Cats rehearsals, and stuff like that, but I really did not have much schoolwork at all which was the most amazing thing ever. The 1st, I had dinner with Taylor & Caroline to celebrate our roomieness for next year.
The 2nd we had a massive dinner with the hall peeps and I had sushi for the 1st time and almost got lost in Chapel Hill and got massively creeped out by a hobo.
Wednesday the 3rd I did nothing exciting, but I did go to h2h and was hyper as always.
The 4th I made props and went to dinner with Jordi and it was so fun.
The 5th I had no class and I went with Leigh to buy thongs and then basically packed my car and PEACED OUT.
Over spring break I sat around, dealt with the drama of cats being cancelled, hung out with catherine, saw a play, reunited with some theatre peeps, got lunch with linda & terry, watched movies online, and went to Leigh's one night as did Anna & Erin and we saw Alice in Wonderland which was SUPER FUNTIMES. And break was great.
And this week has already been described in great detail, and I don't know the future, so that's all I've got.
Except I do know that next weekend is choir tour so that should be an interesting time.. lol.
This year, in great detail:
I spent the new year at Erin's house with Leigh, Stacy (not London), Sarah and Tara and it was GREAT and we had an amazing DOCTOR WHO MARATHON and then ten regenerated and it was SO BLOODY SAD.
And then school started soon and so did cats and my life thusly exploded. Also I met Lisa Whelchel with Sarai and it was amazingggg and did something I never thought I would have the guts to do and it turned out well. Oh, and it snowed like 4 times. And Cats kept happening and so did h2h and so did school.. Andddd I saw some plays and they were mostly all pretty good. Life was normal. I kept going home also like 2 weekends in a row because I kept having to see shows. Good shows, annoying drive. Uhmm and basically then March happened and I have already talked about that. I'm glad its not like December right now.. lol.
Hopes, dreams & plans for the next 365 days:
By this time next year, I hope that me & Erin & Kayla will have signed a lease for our apartment in NYC that we are moving into after we graduate. Also, I hope that I will at least have prospective employment.. or else that will suck. I hope to have brought up my GPA and made it through my drama & JOMC classes successfully, and hope to be enjoying a nice final semester at UNC. I will most definitely be partying it up with Taylor & Caroline, skyping Erin ALL THE TIME, and living life to the fullest and spreading the love. Also, I hope that I will be working on a show with Jordi. :)
Whatever tickles your fancy:
This is what Jamie has to say about me.. its in my about me on facebook--
I can see how Kelley might perhaps seem quiet to those who haven't been around her very long, but they've been utterly fooled. Her flamboyant, theatre-loving, showtune-singing, zumba-dancing self will be revealed shortly. Kelley is the sort of person who will stop what she's doing to recall a dance sequence she learned for a show four years previous. She likes eating food of Mexican and Japanese origin and drinking coffee-ish drinks from McDonald's. Her favorite animal is a rabbit. If you can get her to start laughing, it might not stop for another five minutes. This will make you feel accomplished. Kelley likes to ride in cars with people because she says it's the best way to find out about who they are. Kelley is easily one of the kindest, most open and honest people you'll meet. She loves making friends and helping others and being sure that people feel loved.
Favorite Song:
I can honestly never pick my favorite song. So.. how about I make a list of some amazing songs? yes? yes. I'll follow it with a line or verse from the song so you can see why I love it so much. Also I'll try to do a diverse assortment so you can get how my brain works and what kind of stuff I like to listen to. lol. :) (these are in no particular order.)
-Devil in Me- Kate Voegele
"I had a suspicion but didn't want to believe you a liar.
You had a mission to prove me right.
You took my trust, ground it to dust;
I found out I know better... *chorus*
...You're entirely to blame
And I'm so tired of explaining
The sensation of no Novacaine.
I don't have a prayer if there is no charity in your heart
couldn't you spare me, I've done my part"
-Manhattan from the Sky- Kate Voegele
"I ain't buying the false anxiety, let your fortress fall;
what is it going to take to get you there?
If fear was money, you'd be a millionaire;
all alone in a leather swivel chair counting stacks of gold."
-Speechless- Lady Gaga
"But I'm a loser in love so baby; raise a glass to mend all the broken hearts of all my wrecked up friends..."
-The Love Always Remains- MGMT
"We'll never feel so safe again, but love always remains"
-If its Love- Train
"but you are the greatest thing about me"
-Chai Tea Latte- Angel Taylor
"Cause without you my flavor's a little plain & no one likes plain things;
seeing you in person is so much better than my thoughts & my dreams"
-I & Love & You- Avett Brothers
"ahh Brooklyn, Brooklyn take me in; are you aware the shape I'm in?
my hands they shake my head it spins; ah Brooklyn, Brooklyn take me in."
-Caroline- Brandi Carlile
"I've seen things so beautiful, all around this broken world
that pale in comparison to you."
-Manchester- Brendan James
"Like all the town she fights, she prays she'll do it right,
with nature's sounds to guide her safely through the night.
All of Manchester together to carry on the weight that is life,
that has changed over night.
Let the good lend their hand and the old teach the young.
This is all of Manchester together to carry us on"
-Vegas- Sara Bareilles
"I'm gonna lose my mind and sail the ocean.
'Cause somebody told me there were cherry blue skies.
I'm gonna fix my mind with a final destination;
And have a deep sleep upon a sweet dream I'll never realize"
Favorite movie:
I like a lot of movies. But I don't really see very many. Odd, but true. A recent favorite of mine is 'The Lovely Bones.' I thought it lived out the vision of the book PERFECTLY. It was seriously wonderful. Everyone in it was amazing. It was a visual masterpiece. Absolutely epically wonderful.
Some others I am particularly fond of are Ever After, The Pursuit of Happyness, The Secret Life of Bees, Edward Scissorhands, and the newer version of The Producers. :)
Favorite tv show:
gotta be the wonderful 'Doctor Who' .. it changed my life & makes me look at everything completely differently.
Favorite book:
Jane Eyre is my favorite book of all time. Close behind are Ragtime & Les Miserables. But of course The Lovely Bones is also on that list.. & lots more.
Favorite quote:
oh my. I am a quote junkie, for real.
Here is one that I really really really love.
" We are but the atoms in the incessant human struggle towards the light that shines in the darkness..." -Emma Goldman
Also, in Nicholas Nickelby, when Smike tells Nicky Nick, "You are my home."
ALSO! THE LITTLE PRINCE! "One runs the risk of weeping a little when one allows himself to be tamed."
There are so many more. I love quotes a lot.
Whatever tickles your fancy:
hmm. for this, I would just like to say that this school year has been the most difficult one yet. And I am still really struggling and have a lot more to do before its over. But despite the fact that the academics has been hell, I am SO SO THANKFUL for all my amazing friends. This is the first time perhaps in my life that I have felt so at peace with the fact that I have people who I love and WHO LOVE ME BACK who I can turn to whenever I need support and encouragement. You have all changed my life.
New people I have met this year/gotten a lot closer to:
Jordi
Erin
Tara
Katherine
Molly
Carolyn
RA Becca
Asian Becca
Jean
Logan
the cast of rent
the cast of cats
...you are all magical and I love you.
Picture that makes you happy/sad:
Don't judge me. I edited this photo when I was in 10th grade. Its from when I was in the musical Ragtime- and that is Susan standing next to me. That show, and that woman, changed my life so significantly. She was like a mother to me, a best friend, she was amazing. And she inspired me like no one else ever has. We kept in touch for a really long time after, and I saw her when I went to NYC senior year.. But then she stopped replying to my emails, and I have no idea what she's doing unless I google her. (She is kinda famous so she is very google-able.) Anyway, this photo makes me happy & sad simultaneously because the memory of her is magic but the loss of her light in my life is devastating.
Photo that you took:
:) When I went to NYC October 4, 2009. I saw Next to Normal & met Stacy London and both were bliss.
Photo of you taken over 10 years ago:
Okay, so I don't have any pics that old on this computer... but this is from 8th grade. And that was quite a while ago. It was taken at the art show where I had made that fake stained glass thingy I liked to refer to as the 'electric church' .. yeahhh.
Photo taken of you recently:
This is the most recently tagged photo of me on facebook. So here it is. It was from our hall's 'decades party'..and as you can see I dressed like the 80s because I was going to an 80s party immediately following. lol. People in the pic (from left to right) are: colorguard Becca, asian Becca, RA Becca, Tara, Katherine (dressed as Michael Jackson), me, and Erin the love of my life. haha. We look like straight up lesbians (BAHAHA GET IT) here... but actually we are both gay men. ;)
Whatever tickles your fancy:
I really like to know people's personality types. Tell me yours!! I am an ENFJ. :D
A fictional book:
I am currently madly in love with both Paper Towns and Looking for Alaska by John Green. I have ranted about them both in previous blogs, so I won't repeat the information, but everyone should read them. They are about dealing with life and finding out what is really important and what it means to live for someone else.
A fanfic:
I read one fanfic the other day in which the Doctor came through a tiny gap in the walls of the universe when Rose was an old lady and basically on her death bed. Cloney was still there but basically it was implied that while Cloney and Rose loved each other and stayed together all that time, it was really the Doctor who Rose loved, and he loved her, and it was the sweetest thing ever. I would link it if I had any idea who wrote it or where I found it. lol
A song that makes you cry:
not gonna lie, Fix You by Coldplay always really tugs at my heartstrings. I love it so much.
An art piece:
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/6/69/VanGogh-starry_night_edit.jpg
This is probably my favorite painting of all time. I am in love with it. I just think this style is so gorgeous and pretty flippin genius as well.
But of course, 'A Sunday Afternoon on the Island of La Grande Jatte' by George Seurat also holds a special place in my heart. :)
Anything:
uhmm Sarai & I met Lisa Whelchel. This is the proof. :)
A talent of yours:
uh.. stage managing.
A hobby of yours:
uh.. stage managing. lol.
A recipe:
FRUITY BUDDHA- vanilla vodka, blueberry vodka, orange juice, cranberry juice. DELICIOUS.
A website:
http://www.japanesebirdcookingspaghetti.com/
Best thing ever.
A youtube video:
David Tennant is PRECIOUS.
Whatever tickles your fancy:
if you let love be organic & pure, it may really surprise you.
that is something I know for sure.
Your day, in great detail:
I wish I could write this about yesterday because today is hell.
SO I AM GOING TO.
Yesterday after having stayed up way too late, I got up at 8am so I could get ready for my 9:30 class. So I got dressed and put on my jeans that actually de-emphasize my bubble butt, my purple cami, my 'love' tank, and my donna noble cardigan, did my hair & makeup, checked the internet like always, ate a poptart & gave Leigh the other one, then got my crap together and put on my purple bejeweled flats and went to class. I sat there in my Philosophy class and didn't really pay a whole lot of attention, and instead looked at tumblr and did other useless/stupid things. After class, I came back to my room and ate a sandwich and a campbells tomato soup at hand, talked to my lovely roomie for a while, and then went into Erin's room where she forced me to watch selected scenes from 'New Moon'.. which was SO FUNNY because absolutely no one in that movie can act and the plot is such crap. Then Erin and I both had to go to class at 12:30 so I left and was like 2 minutes late to my boring slave trade class. But it was ok because its a big lecture. So I sat there next to Taylor and took some notes and whatnot.. nothing too exciting happened. Then after class Taylor was going to eat and somehow I was hungry again so I decided to go with her. So we were on our way to Alpine when I saw Erin quite a distance away, so I texted her like a creeper & said 'turn around' and she did, and then I brought her to Alpine with us. We ate yummy bagels and saw a person in a dog costume AND a person in an elephant costume, and Erin is afraid of mascots so that was quite traumatic. After that, we came back to the dorm and laid on Erin's futon and read Syfy's Alice fanfiction and Sally fanfic and fanfic by this girl who is basically Sally in real life. Then Taylor went to another class and then me & Erin & Katherine laid on each other (Anna came in and out of this room of craziness), and continued to read fanfic and such. Taylor returned like an hour and a half later at which point Erin had control of her laptop again and we read HOW U A THUG tweets and she fed her fish and then we (along with Anna) went to Light Years. Taylor bought a pretty ring, but none of the rest of us bought anything. Then we went to dinner at Jack Spratt where we thankfully did not have to listen to live jazz and ate food. THEN we went to the indian man store and looked at cute accessories & weird clothes, and Erin bought a cute flower that goes in your hair. It was a wise purchase. Because its freakin adorable. Then we all had to pee on the way back, so we did so at this one big fancy building where I mistakenly thought the walls were closing in on us in the bathroom. Then we came back to the dorm where we had to quickly prepare for this talent show thingy where my lovely friends were going to wear goofy hats and sing... (I chose to stage manage).. So we gathered silly hats and lyrics papers and stood around and then walked to connor dorm. There, we stood around and for some reason I began to feel like utter crap and decided to eat unhealthy food anyway.. And finally it was their turn to sing! So I passed out lyrics for everyone and whatnot and then sang songs and were PRECIOUS and I loved them all. Then I collected their hats and we went back to our dorm. Then, Leigh and I hung out with Erin on her futon and Erin showed Leigh the 2nd half of 'Alice' and then Leigh went to do work and I went to shower. After my shower, I drank some coffee and shared some thin mints with Erin and we watched Scrubs and I laid on her because that's what I do, and then I went to bed. The end.
Your week, in great detail:
This week has not been to exciting. Sunday I came back to school after having a lovely & relaxing spring break.. I think I went to dinner with people and then did nothing. Maybe homework.
Monday I was awoken by Leslie & Leigh.. so I got up and hung out with them and talked and then I went to class and came back here and ate.. I don't know. Let me get my planner. *goes to get it* Oh. then we had that cats meeting. And then Leigh and I came back to the dorm to meet people and go to KURAMA YAY for Becca's bday dinner. While there, we met the king of the world and ate seaweed that tasted like BACON NO LIE and named our waiter Starheart & decided that he must be Jude Law's younger brother. Then we went to yopo and moseyed on franklin and then starheart had erin's tax form so I ran back to Kurama to retrieve it with her. Then we came back and probably did nothing.
Tuesday I went to both my classes (and complimented that with a nap between them) and went to lunch with Taylor and then did homework all afternoon I think.. and then hung out with Erin i think.
Wednesday.. class, LOTS OF HOMEWORK FOR HOURS, h2h... erin time? i think so.
Thursday was the day I explained in detail before..
Today was Friday and I got up at 10, got ready, went & did a research study thing for JOMC which got done super quick so then I went to visit Erin at Light Years..then I went to that craptastic class and hated my life and wanted to kill myself for a bit so I came back here and listened to emo music and ate easy mac & an apple and drank coffee. Then Leigh & I went to her house to get my car and on the way back traffic was HORRIBLE and I got pissed again. Then I came back here & watched tv and worked on this blog. Then Taylor called and then I called my mom and then I called Leigh and then I called Sarai and then I went to eat and bskis and after we wanted to go visit Erin at the Varsity but she wasnt in the window. boo. SO, we headed on over to the battle house for the dance party at which I wasn't feeling too great so I sat around and watched Sarai eat and then I left and now I'm here.
Tomorrow I'm going to Molly's recital, then hanging out with Taylor and Caroline, then going somewhere w/ Sarai, then probably coming back here and eating and doing work and playing with Erin.
Sunday I am going to see Little House on the Prairie the Musical with my mother and Renee, and then I am coming back here, probably taking my car to its new spot at the Bible Church, then going to h2h. the end.
This month, in great detail:
March 1-4 I was very busy with Cats rehearsals, and stuff like that, but I really did not have much schoolwork at all which was the most amazing thing ever. The 1st, I had dinner with Taylor & Caroline to celebrate our roomieness for next year.
The 2nd we had a massive dinner with the hall peeps and I had sushi for the 1st time and almost got lost in Chapel Hill and got massively creeped out by a hobo.
Wednesday the 3rd I did nothing exciting, but I did go to h2h and was hyper as always.
The 4th I made props and went to dinner with Jordi and it was so fun.
The 5th I had no class and I went with Leigh to buy thongs and then basically packed my car and PEACED OUT.
Over spring break I sat around, dealt with the drama of cats being cancelled, hung out with catherine, saw a play, reunited with some theatre peeps, got lunch with linda & terry, watched movies online, and went to Leigh's one night as did Anna & Erin and we saw Alice in Wonderland which was SUPER FUNTIMES. And break was great.
And this week has already been described in great detail, and I don't know the future, so that's all I've got.
Except I do know that next weekend is choir tour so that should be an interesting time.. lol.
This year, in great detail:
I spent the new year at Erin's house with Leigh, Stacy (not London), Sarah and Tara and it was GREAT and we had an amazing DOCTOR WHO MARATHON and then ten regenerated and it was SO BLOODY SAD.
And then school started soon and so did cats and my life thusly exploded. Also I met Lisa Whelchel with Sarai and it was amazingggg and did something I never thought I would have the guts to do and it turned out well. Oh, and it snowed like 4 times. And Cats kept happening and so did h2h and so did school.. Andddd I saw some plays and they were mostly all pretty good. Life was normal. I kept going home also like 2 weekends in a row because I kept having to see shows. Good shows, annoying drive. Uhmm and basically then March happened and I have already talked about that. I'm glad its not like December right now.. lol.
Hopes, dreams & plans for the next 365 days:
By this time next year, I hope that me & Erin & Kayla will have signed a lease for our apartment in NYC that we are moving into after we graduate. Also, I hope that I will at least have prospective employment.. or else that will suck. I hope to have brought up my GPA and made it through my drama & JOMC classes successfully, and hope to be enjoying a nice final semester at UNC. I will most definitely be partying it up with Taylor & Caroline, skyping Erin ALL THE TIME, and living life to the fullest and spreading the love. Also, I hope that I will be working on a show with Jordi. :)
Whatever tickles your fancy:
This is what Jamie has to say about me.. its in my about me on facebook--
I can see how Kelley might perhaps seem quiet to those who haven't been around her very long, but they've been utterly fooled. Her flamboyant, theatre-loving, showtune-singing, zumba-dancing self will be revealed shortly. Kelley is the sort of person who will stop what she's doing to recall a dance sequence she learned for a show four years previous. She likes eating food of Mexican and Japanese origin and drinking coffee-ish drinks from McDonald's. Her favorite animal is a rabbit. If you can get her to start laughing, it might not stop for another five minutes. This will make you feel accomplished. Kelley likes to ride in cars with people because she says it's the best way to find out about who they are. Kelley is easily one of the kindest, most open and honest people you'll meet. She loves making friends and helping others and being sure that people feel loved.
take a long walk off a short pier.
Disclaimer: This entry contains lots of anger and lots of curse words.
Shoot me in the fucking face.
I HATE my feature writing class.
HATE
And I never use that word.
That stupid damn old woman professor talks about NOTHING and gives us NO good suggestions to make our shit better and then somehow I am like the ONLY one who can't seem to do well in there.
It SUCKS.
How could I have done well in news writing and be doing so shittily in this fucking class?!?!?! GFOSAHGOIFDHFDS:OIU H:OUFHDS:OSDOIFDSFIOHOD:HF:OIDSOIF
LIFE SUCKS
I HATE EVERYONE
Maybe I should just stand in the middle of the street and wait till I get hit by a bus.
That sounds simple.
God.
I'm sitting here listening to emo ass music because this fucking woman shows me NO MERCY and FLUNKS me on a story I spend HOURS writing. FUCK HER.
AND when I ask for help she tells me to send her the lead on my NEXT STORY. HOW THE HELL IS THAT GOING TO DO ANY GOOD?!?!?!?!
THATS NOT GOING TO HELP THE SHITTY ASS GRADES I HAVE MADE IN THERE SO FAR.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
kill me now.
i hate my life.
i hate the j-school.
i hate grades and my gpa and am SO OVER IT with working my ass off and not being good at ANYTHING.
This class is going to make me get kicked out of the fucking j-school. And its not going to be cute. Not at all. Her end of semester evaluation is going to be REALLYYYY NICE.
fuck.
fuck this.
Yes, I realize this was the biggest rant I have pretty much EVER had on here, and I apologize if you have actually read it all.
Shoot me in the fucking face.
I HATE my feature writing class.
HATE
And I never use that word.
That stupid damn old woman professor talks about NOTHING and gives us NO good suggestions to make our shit better and then somehow I am like the ONLY one who can't seem to do well in there.
It SUCKS.
How could I have done well in news writing and be doing so shittily in this fucking class?!?!?! GFOSAHGOIFDHFDS:OIU H:OUFHDS:OSDOIFDSFIOHOD:HF:OIDSOIF
LIFE SUCKS
I HATE EVERYONE
Maybe I should just stand in the middle of the street and wait till I get hit by a bus.
That sounds simple.
God.
I'm sitting here listening to emo ass music because this fucking woman shows me NO MERCY and FLUNKS me on a story I spend HOURS writing. FUCK HER.
AND when I ask for help she tells me to send her the lead on my NEXT STORY. HOW THE HELL IS THAT GOING TO DO ANY GOOD?!?!?!?!
THATS NOT GOING TO HELP THE SHITTY ASS GRADES I HAVE MADE IN THERE SO FAR.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
kill me now.
i hate my life.
i hate the j-school.
i hate grades and my gpa and am SO OVER IT with working my ass off and not being good at ANYTHING.
This class is going to make me get kicked out of the fucking j-school. And its not going to be cute. Not at all. Her end of semester evaluation is going to be REALLYYYY NICE.
fuck.
fuck this.
Yes, I realize this was the biggest rant I have pretty much EVER had on here, and I apologize if you have actually read it all.
Thursday, March 18, 2010
i wrote this for you.. relevant quotes
Every time they cut you, I bleed.
Sometimes I can't work out if you're a friend who wants to talk to me or an enemy who wants to take from me.
I'm with them because, despite everything, I still love them. And while you might walk in and find me punching a wall, it's only because I want to kiss their lips.
There's no revenge here.
Love doesn't hate back.
Sometimes I can't work out if you're a friend who wants to talk to me or an enemy who wants to take from me.
I'm with them because, despite everything, I still love them. And while you might walk in and find me punching a wall, it's only because I want to kiss their lips.
There's no revenge here.
Love doesn't hate back.
love today
1. You know, I really do not have the enthusiasm for you that I did before.. Honestly, I don't know if its me or if its you or if its both of us. All I know is that if you don't want me, or just don't show me that you do, I will walk away. Even though I really wanted this to work.
2. I can't even explain to you how much I love you. Your presence warms my heart. You are seriously one of my favorite people on the planet, and I can't tell you how happy I am to have you in my life. I wish you knew how incredible you are, because you are such a fantastic person and you deserve so much more than you believe you do. You have all my love, always. You are so beautiful. :) <3
thats really all i have to say..
today was wonderful.
i love everyone.
2. I can't even explain to you how much I love you. Your presence warms my heart. You are seriously one of my favorite people on the planet, and I can't tell you how happy I am to have you in my life. I wish you knew how incredible you are, because you are such a fantastic person and you deserve so much more than you believe you do. You have all my love, always. You are so beautiful. :) <3
thats really all i have to say..
today was wonderful.
i love everyone.
midnight.
Do you still talk to your FIRST love?
im not really sure who my first love would be considered..
What was your FIRST alcoholic drink?
champagne that tasted like bile at jamie's house
What was your FIRST job?
drama camp counselor at cfrt
What was your FIRST car?
my mom/dad's silver VW jetta.. that i still drive.. and actually it just recently became technically *mine*
Who was the FIRST person to text you today?
leigh perhaps..?
Who is the FIRST person you thought of this morning?
hm. good question. i woke up at 6am and seriously thought i was going to barf .. but i feel back asleep a few minutes later.. so idk. lol
Who was your FIRST grade teacher?
angela nowiski. she was wonderfully precious.
Where did you go on your FIRST ride on an airplane?
upstate ny. i was 4. :)
Who was your FIRST best friend & do you still talk?
jamie. and yes yes we do. :D
Where was your FIRST sleep over?
rachelynn's house i think
Who was the FIRST person you talked to today?
erin/katherine. loves of my life.
Whose wedding were you in the FIRST time?
my aunt brenda's
What was the FIRST thing you did this morning?
turned my alarm off
What was the FIRST concert you ever went to?
uhmmmmmmmm no idea
FIRST broken bone?
never.
FIRST piercing?
ears. 5th grade.
FIRST foreign country you've gone to?
NEVER BEEN TO ONE. it sucks.
FIRST movie you remember seeing?
guh NO clue. probably something disney.
When was your FIRST detention?
never
Who was your FIRST roommate?
nikki, freshman year. she was potluck
If you had one wish, what would it be?
loveeeeee
What is something you would learn if you had the chance?
to sing better, to dance better, to act better, piano, guitar, the art of awesomeness.
Did you marry the FIRST person to ask for your hand in marriage/ you asked to marry?
that hasnt happened yet .. which i am kinda glad about
What was the first sport you were involved in?
ew.
What were the first lessons you ever took?
the one day of gymnastics when i was 6.. and then the one day of ballet/tap
What is the first thing you do when you get home?
if home means dorm, then.. take my shoes off
im not really sure who my first love would be considered..
What was your FIRST alcoholic drink?
champagne that tasted like bile at jamie's house
What was your FIRST job?
drama camp counselor at cfrt
What was your FIRST car?
my mom/dad's silver VW jetta.. that i still drive.. and actually it just recently became technically *mine*
Who was the FIRST person to text you today?
leigh perhaps..?
Who is the FIRST person you thought of this morning?
hm. good question. i woke up at 6am and seriously thought i was going to barf .. but i feel back asleep a few minutes later.. so idk. lol
Who was your FIRST grade teacher?
angela nowiski. she was wonderfully precious.
Where did you go on your FIRST ride on an airplane?
upstate ny. i was 4. :)
Who was your FIRST best friend & do you still talk?
jamie. and yes yes we do. :D
Where was your FIRST sleep over?
rachelynn's house i think
Who was the FIRST person you talked to today?
erin/katherine. loves of my life.
Whose wedding were you in the FIRST time?
my aunt brenda's
What was the FIRST thing you did this morning?
turned my alarm off
What was the FIRST concert you ever went to?
uhmmmmmmmm no idea
FIRST broken bone?
never.
FIRST piercing?
ears. 5th grade.
FIRST foreign country you've gone to?
NEVER BEEN TO ONE. it sucks.
FIRST movie you remember seeing?
guh NO clue. probably something disney.
When was your FIRST detention?
never
Who was your FIRST roommate?
nikki, freshman year. she was potluck
If you had one wish, what would it be?
loveeeeee
What is something you would learn if you had the chance?
to sing better, to dance better, to act better, piano, guitar, the art of awesomeness.
Did you marry the FIRST person to ask for your hand in marriage/ you asked to marry?
that hasnt happened yet .. which i am kinda glad about
What was the first sport you were involved in?
ew.
What were the first lessons you ever took?
the one day of gymnastics when i was 6.. and then the one day of ballet/tap
What is the first thing you do when you get home?
if home means dorm, then.. take my shoes off
Monday, March 15, 2010
rule #1- don't be stupid idiots
Name: kelley
Date of Birth: october 7
Birthplace: fayetteville nc
Current Location: my room in joyner, Chapel hill, nc
Eye Color: hazel
Hair Color: brown
Height: 5'6''
Heritage: im white.. but if you want me to take it back further- scottish, irish, german, english
Piercings: ears
Tattoos: none
Favourite---
Band/Singer: avett brothers/kate voegele
Song: i have no bloody idea. i can NEVER decide.
Movie: again, no idea.
Disney Movie: Beauty and the Beast
TV show: desperate housewives/i love lucy/the facts of life/DOCTOR WHO!
Color: i like all colors
Food: asian food is good..as are burritos
Pizza topping: Cheese
Ice-Cream Flavor: green mint chocolate chip, and also orange & cream
Drink (alcoholic): fruity buddha
Soda: Dr. Pepper
Store: charlotte russe/forever 21/target
Clothing Brand: it dont matta
Shoe Brand: it dont matta
Season: i like them all within reason
Month: i dont careeeeeee
Holiday/Festival: Christmas/i dont have a favorite festival...
Flower: red rose
Make-Up Item: eyeliner & mascara.
Board game: apples to apples
This or That
Sunny or rainy: sunny
Chocolate or vanilla: chocolate
Fruit or veggie: mmmmmm both
Night or day: either
Sour or sweet: sweet
Love or money: love
Phone or in person: in person
Looks or personality: personality is better. looks are a bonus.
Coffee or tea: COFFEEEEEEEEEE
Hot or cold: depends
Your:
Goal for this year: do better in school (as always), love everyone (as always), keep it positive, inspire others, be inspired.
Most missed memory: basically all my time spent at cfrt.. esp ragtime & cinderella & company
Best physical feature: idk
First thought waking up: GUHHHHHHHH
Hypothetical personality disorder: uhmm madly in love with way too many people?!
Preferred type of plastic surgery: lol. i dont care. ill think about that when im more wrinkly
Sesame street alter ego: uhmm ernie. of bert & ernie.
Fairytale alter ego: i dont know. mushu. from mulan.
Most stupid remark: ever? thats a great question. i say a lot of stupid things.
Worst crime: mmm downloading music i guess..thats all i can think of
Greatest ambition: never stop growing
Greatest fear: failure/losing people i love
Darkest secret: if i answered this, it would no longer be a secret.. but i dont really have one
Favorite subject: dramaaaaaaaaaaa
Strangest received gift: idontknowwww
Worst habit: picking at my cuticles
Do You:
Smoke: No
Drink: socially i suppose ;P
Curse: haha.. yeahhhh
Shower daily: si
Like thunderstorms: uhm. if i am inside then sure
Dance in the rain: love it
Sing: Always
Play an instrument: mhm
Get along with your parents: on occasion
Wish on stars: not really
Believe in fate: no
Believe in love at first sight: that would be lust, not love
Can You:
Drive: yes
Sew: yes
Cook: if i have to
Speak another language: some spanish
Dance: when im in a show i can. i guess.
Sing: i try
Touch your tongue to your nose: no
Whistle: no
Curl your tongue: mhmm
Have You Ever:
Been Drunk: Nope
Been Stoned/High: Nope
Eaten Sushi: YES & I LOVE IT
Been in Love: im not sure.
Skipped school: duh.
Made prank calls: yes
Sent someone a love letter: lol.. kinda.. but not like that
Stolen something: no
Cried yourself to sleep: once or twice.
Other Questions:
What annoys you most in a person? meanness, hate, being a blatant asshole, deception
Are you right or left handed? lefty!
What is your bedtime? honey im in college.
Name three things you can't live without: Jesus, amazing friends, love
What is the color of your room? white. but this summer its going to be yellow! :)
Do you have any siblings? no
Do you have any pets? un gato
Would you kill someone you hate for a million dollars? i dont hate anyone, nor would i kill anyone
What is you middle name? michele
What are you nicknames? kellster, kel, kelephant, kelleh, etc
Are you for or against gay marriage? FOR! <3
What are your thoughts on abortion? against
Do you have a crush on anyone? uhm yeah i suppose
Are you afraid of the dark? lol. no. only the vashta nerada.
How do you want to die? Happy
What is the largest amount of popsicles that you have eaten on one day? no clue. but probably way too many.
Would you take a bullet for the one you love? absolutely. i would take a bullet for any one of my friends too.
What is the last law you’ve broken? idk
In a Member of the Opposite Sex:
Hair color: depends. though i rarely like blondes or gingers
Eye color: dont matta
Height: Taller than me
Weight: broad shouldered, so they at least seem bigger than me, and i certainly dont mind a bit of flab. lol.
Most important physical feature: face in general
Biggest turn-off: idiocy
Date of Birth: october 7
Birthplace: fayetteville nc
Current Location: my room in joyner, Chapel hill, nc
Eye Color: hazel
Hair Color: brown
Height: 5'6''
Heritage: im white.. but if you want me to take it back further- scottish, irish, german, english
Piercings: ears
Tattoos: none
Favourite---
Band/Singer: avett brothers/kate voegele
Song: i have no bloody idea. i can NEVER decide.
Movie: again, no idea.
Disney Movie: Beauty and the Beast
TV show: desperate housewives/i love lucy/the facts of life/DOCTOR WHO!
Color: i like all colors
Food: asian food is good..as are burritos
Pizza topping: Cheese
Ice-Cream Flavor: green mint chocolate chip, and also orange & cream
Drink (alcoholic): fruity buddha
Soda: Dr. Pepper
Store: charlotte russe/forever 21/target
Clothing Brand: it dont matta
Shoe Brand: it dont matta
Season: i like them all within reason
Month: i dont careeeeeee
Holiday/Festival: Christmas/i dont have a favorite festival...
Flower: red rose
Make-Up Item: eyeliner & mascara.
Board game: apples to apples
This or That
Sunny or rainy: sunny
Chocolate or vanilla: chocolate
Fruit or veggie: mmmmmm both
Night or day: either
Sour or sweet: sweet
Love or money: love
Phone or in person: in person
Looks or personality: personality is better. looks are a bonus.
Coffee or tea: COFFEEEEEEEEEE
Hot or cold: depends
Your:
Goal for this year: do better in school (as always), love everyone (as always), keep it positive, inspire others, be inspired.
Most missed memory: basically all my time spent at cfrt.. esp ragtime & cinderella & company
Best physical feature: idk
First thought waking up: GUHHHHHHHH
Hypothetical personality disorder: uhmm madly in love with way too many people?!
Preferred type of plastic surgery: lol. i dont care. ill think about that when im more wrinkly
Sesame street alter ego: uhmm ernie. of bert & ernie.
Fairytale alter ego: i dont know. mushu. from mulan.
Most stupid remark: ever? thats a great question. i say a lot of stupid things.
Worst crime: mmm downloading music i guess..thats all i can think of
Greatest ambition: never stop growing
Greatest fear: failure/losing people i love
Darkest secret: if i answered this, it would no longer be a secret.. but i dont really have one
Favorite subject: dramaaaaaaaaaaa
Strangest received gift: idontknowwww
Worst habit: picking at my cuticles
Do You:
Smoke: No
Drink: socially i suppose ;P
Curse: haha.. yeahhhh
Shower daily: si
Like thunderstorms: uhm. if i am inside then sure
Dance in the rain: love it
Sing: Always
Play an instrument: mhm
Get along with your parents: on occasion
Wish on stars: not really
Believe in fate: no
Believe in love at first sight: that would be lust, not love
Can You:
Drive: yes
Sew: yes
Cook: if i have to
Speak another language: some spanish
Dance: when im in a show i can. i guess.
Sing: i try
Touch your tongue to your nose: no
Whistle: no
Curl your tongue: mhmm
Have You Ever:
Been Drunk: Nope
Been Stoned/High: Nope
Eaten Sushi: YES & I LOVE IT
Been in Love: im not sure.
Skipped school: duh.
Made prank calls: yes
Sent someone a love letter: lol.. kinda.. but not like that
Stolen something: no
Cried yourself to sleep: once or twice.
Other Questions:
What annoys you most in a person? meanness, hate, being a blatant asshole, deception
Are you right or left handed? lefty!
What is your bedtime? honey im in college.
Name three things you can't live without: Jesus, amazing friends, love
What is the color of your room? white. but this summer its going to be yellow! :)
Do you have any siblings? no
Do you have any pets? un gato
Would you kill someone you hate for a million dollars? i dont hate anyone, nor would i kill anyone
What is you middle name? michele
What are you nicknames? kellster, kel, kelephant, kelleh, etc
Are you for or against gay marriage? FOR! <3
What are your thoughts on abortion? against
Do you have a crush on anyone? uhm yeah i suppose
Are you afraid of the dark? lol. no. only the vashta nerada.
How do you want to die? Happy
What is the largest amount of popsicles that you have eaten on one day? no clue. but probably way too many.
Would you take a bullet for the one you love? absolutely. i would take a bullet for any one of my friends too.
What is the last law you’ve broken? idk
In a Member of the Opposite Sex:
Hair color: depends. though i rarely like blondes or gingers
Eye color: dont matta
Height: Taller than me
Weight: broad shouldered, so they at least seem bigger than me, and i certainly dont mind a bit of flab. lol.
Most important physical feature: face in general
Biggest turn-off: idiocy
Saturday, March 13, 2010
bold survey
I have:
Brown hair. Blue eyes. Pale skin. Brown eyes. Curly hair. Long fingernails. Curves. Braces. Chipped nail polish. Long legs. Straight hair. A fringe. Long eyelashes. Sore feet. Dark skin. Green eyes. Blonde hair. Dyed hair. Short legs. Red Hair. Big boobs. Rosy cheeks. (sometimes) Wavy hair. Black hair. A small waist. Piercings. (just ears) Tattoos. Big ears. Short hair.
I love:
Babies. Flowers. Kisses. Summer. Coffee. The rain. Candles. Incense. Late night talk shows. Insects. Hugs. Attention. The beach. Chocolate. Music. Hats. Harry Potter. Twilight. Facebook. Black and white photos. Sleeping in. Driving. Narrating my pet’s thoughts. Opening gifts. Buying gifts. Halloween. Cute texts. Apples. Compliments. Country music. Hip hop. Sushi. Sports. Art. Singing. Seeing my loved ones happy. Surprises. Sunsets and sunrises. Skinny dipping. Horror movies. Simon Cowell. Family Guy. Garlic. Hearing somebody talk in their sleep. Being right. KFC. Abstract photography. Concerts and festivals. Tanning. Oversized t-shirts.
I would love to be a:
Police officer. Lawyer. Doctor. Teacher. (if i were teaching theatre to children in a theatre & NOT at a school)Fruit picker. Mother. Greenpeace volunteer. Hippie. Groupie. Rockstar. Footballer’s wife. Therapist. Singer. Actress. Lottery winner. Diving instructor. Company owner. (if the company were a theatre...) Housewife. Nurse. Builder. Race car driver. Website developer. An inspirational talker. Music teacher. Artist. Chef. Makeup artist. Hairdresser. Restaurant owner. Homeless shelter volunteer. Fitness trainer. Vet. Radio show host. Band manager. Writer.
I like to eat:
Fruit. Vegetables. Fast food. Sushi. Rice. Sandwiches. Subway. Chicken.Cakes.Pasta. Rice crackers. When I’m bored. Cheese. Ice cream. Garlic bread. Peanut butter out of the jar. Eggs. Lots of ethnic foods. Pancakes. Honey. Lunch. Bread crusts. Low calorie foods. Soy products. Gluten free products. Only when I’m hungry. Toast. Breakfast. Pizza. Seafood. (sometimes)
I dislike:
Cold mornings. Baths. People dissing my taste in music. People in front of me walking really slowly. Having my personal space invaded. Cleaning. Going to bed early. Wine/beer. Religion arguments. Coffee. The beach. Rain. Children. Having my photo taken. Drama. Gossiping. Hip hop. Cooking shows. Drugs. Cats. People singing happy birthday to me. School. Selfish people. Social networking sites. Swimming. Snow. Eminem. Seafood. One word text messages. Awkward silences. Alarm clocks.
Brown hair. Blue eyes. Pale skin. Brown eyes. Curly hair. Long fingernails. Curves. Braces. Chipped nail polish. Long legs. Straight hair. A fringe. Long eyelashes. Sore feet. Dark skin. Green eyes. Blonde hair. Dyed hair. Short legs. Red Hair. Big boobs. Rosy cheeks. (sometimes) Wavy hair. Black hair. A small waist. Piercings. (just ears) Tattoos. Big ears. Short hair.
I love:
Babies. Flowers. Kisses. Summer. Coffee. The rain. Candles. Incense. Late night talk shows. Insects. Hugs. Attention. The beach. Chocolate. Music. Hats. Harry Potter. Twilight. Facebook. Black and white photos. Sleeping in. Driving. Narrating my pet’s thoughts. Opening gifts. Buying gifts. Halloween. Cute texts. Apples. Compliments. Country music. Hip hop. Sushi. Sports. Art. Singing. Seeing my loved ones happy. Surprises. Sunsets and sunrises. Skinny dipping. Horror movies. Simon Cowell. Family Guy. Garlic. Hearing somebody talk in their sleep. Being right. KFC. Abstract photography. Concerts and festivals. Tanning. Oversized t-shirts.
I would love to be a:
Police officer. Lawyer. Doctor. Teacher. (if i were teaching theatre to children in a theatre & NOT at a school)Fruit picker. Mother. Greenpeace volunteer. Hippie. Groupie. Rockstar. Footballer’s wife. Therapist. Singer. Actress. Lottery winner. Diving instructor. Company owner. (if the company were a theatre...) Housewife. Nurse. Builder. Race car driver. Website developer. An inspirational talker. Music teacher. Artist. Chef. Makeup artist. Hairdresser. Restaurant owner. Homeless shelter volunteer. Fitness trainer. Vet. Radio show host. Band manager. Writer.
I like to eat:
Fruit. Vegetables. Fast food. Sushi. Rice. Sandwiches. Subway. Chicken.Cakes.Pasta. Rice crackers. When I’m bored. Cheese. Ice cream. Garlic bread. Peanut butter out of the jar. Eggs. Lots of ethnic foods. Pancakes. Honey. Lunch. Bread crusts. Low calorie foods. Soy products. Gluten free products. Only when I’m hungry. Toast. Breakfast. Pizza. Seafood. (sometimes)
I dislike:
Cold mornings. Baths. People dissing my taste in music. People in front of me walking really slowly. Having my personal space invaded. Cleaning. Going to bed early. Wine/beer. Religion arguments. Coffee. The beach. Rain. Children. Having my photo taken. Drama. Gossiping. Hip hop. Cooking shows. Drugs. Cats. People singing happy birthday to me. School. Selfish people. Social networking sites. Swimming. Snow. Eminem. Seafood. One word text messages. Awkward silences. Alarm clocks.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
the secret
My joy is not a mask.
It is a shield.
It is what has protected me all my life
from becoming something I'm glad I never became.
I used it to keep me sane
to keep my seeking love & harmony
to keep me here.
The joy of the Lord
is my strength.
It is a shield.
It is what has protected me all my life
from becoming something I'm glad I never became.
I used it to keep me sane
to keep my seeking love & harmony
to keep me here.
The joy of the Lord
is my strength.
Monday, March 8, 2010
Friday, March 5, 2010
enfj.
ENFJs are lively and enthusiastic facilitators who apply warmth and vision to helping people and meeting their needs. They are aware of people's aspirations and develop plans of action to make those aspirations into reality. They like organization and closure. They are at their best facilitating situations that require interpersonal sensitivity. ENFJs are tolerant and appreciative of others, seeking involvement with them in life's tasks. They are able communicators who are liberal in showing appreciation for others.
They follow through diligently and usually attain what they seek. Often the goals they set have to do with making society a better place for people.
ENFJs are likable because they notice what is good about people.
They are responsible children because they like to please others and meet their needs. In doing for others, they usually find satisfaction for themselves. They are upset by conflict or disharmony.
ENFJs take their religious and community values seriously and want others to do the same. Loyalty, commitment, and responsibility are important values to ENFJs..
Because they take criticism personally, they can either be wounded by it or be willing to redouble their efforts in order to change the criticism. ENFJs enjoy classes that have subject matter relating to people, their needs, their aspirations, and their characterizations.
In the accomplishment of the goal, ENFJs will look at the people available and will assign tasks based on who needs the experience, the exposure, or the development.
ENFJs prefer occupations that reflect their ideals and that promote harmonious relationships with others.
The ENFJ puts relationships and responsibilities before personal leisure. Their time can be imposed upon easily; however, they need to guard against excessive responsiveness to avoid reaching overload.
They like going to movies and plays with others and like to comment on the plot characterization. They are close observers of others' behavior.
They particularly enjoy reading novels and seeing movies in order to see how the characters play out the life issues and questions presented in the story; it gives them an opportunity to see how others live and get along.
When they first fall in love, they fall in love with an ideal perspective of what the relationship will be, and they fall deeply, head over heels. ENFJs value commitment and loyalty, and look for it from their partner.
When commitments are broken, ENFJs become upset because they see the breakup as a personal reflection on them and because they have idealized the relationship.
When scorned, ENFJs may be resentful, spiteful, and deeply hurt. Because they are acutely aware of emotional matters they take the breakup of a relationship especially hard. They are willing to discuss the ending of the relationship with only a few others because they feel a sense of blame and shame for the relationship not working out.
ENFJ's place people as being of highest importance and priority.
ENFJ's are especially vulnerable to idealizing interpersonal relationships, raising these relationships to a plane which seldom can sustain the realities of human nature. Because of this tendency to raise interpersonal relations to the ideal, ENFJ's may unwittingly overpower their friends, who believe that they cannot possibly live up to an ENFJ's perception of them. The fact is, ENFJ's are extraordinarily tolerant of others, seldom critical, and always trustworthy.
They have a natural ability to mimic because of this highly developed ability to empathize by introjection.
They are influential, therefore, in groups, having no hesitation about speaking out, no matter how large or small the group may be.
ENFJ's would do well to follow their hunches, for their intuition tends to be well developed.
this is who i am.
They follow through diligently and usually attain what they seek. Often the goals they set have to do with making society a better place for people.
ENFJs are likable because they notice what is good about people.
They are responsible children because they like to please others and meet their needs. In doing for others, they usually find satisfaction for themselves. They are upset by conflict or disharmony.
ENFJs take their religious and community values seriously and want others to do the same. Loyalty, commitment, and responsibility are important values to ENFJs..
Because they take criticism personally, they can either be wounded by it or be willing to redouble their efforts in order to change the criticism. ENFJs enjoy classes that have subject matter relating to people, their needs, their aspirations, and their characterizations.
In the accomplishment of the goal, ENFJs will look at the people available and will assign tasks based on who needs the experience, the exposure, or the development.
ENFJs prefer occupations that reflect their ideals and that promote harmonious relationships with others.
The ENFJ puts relationships and responsibilities before personal leisure. Their time can be imposed upon easily; however, they need to guard against excessive responsiveness to avoid reaching overload.
They like going to movies and plays with others and like to comment on the plot characterization. They are close observers of others' behavior.
They particularly enjoy reading novels and seeing movies in order to see how the characters play out the life issues and questions presented in the story; it gives them an opportunity to see how others live and get along.
When they first fall in love, they fall in love with an ideal perspective of what the relationship will be, and they fall deeply, head over heels. ENFJs value commitment and loyalty, and look for it from their partner.
When commitments are broken, ENFJs become upset because they see the breakup as a personal reflection on them and because they have idealized the relationship.
When scorned, ENFJs may be resentful, spiteful, and deeply hurt. Because they are acutely aware of emotional matters they take the breakup of a relationship especially hard. They are willing to discuss the ending of the relationship with only a few others because they feel a sense of blame and shame for the relationship not working out.
ENFJ's place people as being of highest importance and priority.
ENFJ's are especially vulnerable to idealizing interpersonal relationships, raising these relationships to a plane which seldom can sustain the realities of human nature. Because of this tendency to raise interpersonal relations to the ideal, ENFJ's may unwittingly overpower their friends, who believe that they cannot possibly live up to an ENFJ's perception of them. The fact is, ENFJ's are extraordinarily tolerant of others, seldom critical, and always trustworthy.
They have a natural ability to mimic because of this highly developed ability to empathize by introjection.
They are influential, therefore, in groups, having no hesitation about speaking out, no matter how large or small the group may be.
ENFJ's would do well to follow their hunches, for their intuition tends to be well developed.
this is who i am.
wishin that blue would just carry me away
Don't talk to me like I am a piece of shit after what I give to you.
I guess it shouldn't have bothered me this much, or at all, but it did.
I need to stop idealizing, stop ENFJing, and see people and relationships for what they are.
Also, men are assholes.
Also, I think you can fall in love with whoever you want. And I think you should let it happen. I don't think there should be restrictions on that.
Whatever.
My opinions are different
I don't care
but I don't think you can give me a counter-argument
and dont try
because i'm sure you have no idea what i'm talking about.
gah.
spring break-commence.
I guess it shouldn't have bothered me this much, or at all, but it did.
I need to stop idealizing, stop ENFJing, and see people and relationships for what they are.
Also, men are assholes.
Also, I think you can fall in love with whoever you want. And I think you should let it happen. I don't think there should be restrictions on that.
Whatever.
My opinions are different
I don't care
but I don't think you can give me a counter-argument
and dont try
because i'm sure you have no idea what i'm talking about.
gah.
spring break-commence.
Monday, March 1, 2010
play that pretty music
So, on tumblr, I someone did this thing where they listed the first lines of the first 10 songs on their itunes.
I didn't know how to sort them.. (by title, album, artist, play count, etc..) SO i'm sorting them by most played and will use the top 10 played songs of 10 different artists.
Here they are;
1. Far in the distance this is the view from the other side. How did I let this pass me by?
-Kate Voegele, Devil in Me
2. I walked across an empty land; I knew that pathway like the back of my hand. I felt the earth beneath my feet; sat by the river & it made me complete.
-Keane, Somewhere Only we Know
3. In a way, I need a change from this burnout scene. Another time, another town, another everything; but its always back to you.
-OAR, Shattered
4. I don't know what I've done, or if I like what I've begun; but something told me to run & honey you told me its all or none.
-Missy Higgins, Where I Stood
5. I could use another cigarette, but don't worry daddy; I'm not addicted yet. One too many drinks tonight & I miss you like you were mine.
-Sara Bareilles, Come Round Soon
6. Where are we? What the hell is going on? The dust has only just begun to fall. Crop circles in the carpet; sinking, feeling...
-Imogen Heap, Hide & Seek
7. Comparisons are easily done once you've had a taste of perfection. Like an apple hanging from a tree, I picked the ripest one; I still got the seed.
-Katy Perry, Thinking of You
8. I hung up the phone tonight, something happened for the first time deep inside; it was a rush, what a rush. Cause the possibility that you would ever feel the same way about me, is just too much, just too much.
-David Archuleta, Crush
9. I don't wanna be the one to say goodbye, but I will, I will, I will. I don't wanna sit on the pavement while you fly, but I will, I will, oh yes I will.
-Ingrid Michaelson, Maybe
10. I woke up long after dawn, 20 years had come & gone. I knew when it changed for me, a day in June you came to me. I've seen through someone else's eyes, nothing on the other side. Every motel, every town, pieces scattered all around.
-Brandi Carlile, Caroline
I didn't know how to sort them.. (by title, album, artist, play count, etc..) SO i'm sorting them by most played and will use the top 10 played songs of 10 different artists.
Here they are;
1. Far in the distance this is the view from the other side. How did I let this pass me by?
-Kate Voegele, Devil in Me
2. I walked across an empty land; I knew that pathway like the back of my hand. I felt the earth beneath my feet; sat by the river & it made me complete.
-Keane, Somewhere Only we Know
3. In a way, I need a change from this burnout scene. Another time, another town, another everything; but its always back to you.
-OAR, Shattered
4. I don't know what I've done, or if I like what I've begun; but something told me to run & honey you told me its all or none.
-Missy Higgins, Where I Stood
5. I could use another cigarette, but don't worry daddy; I'm not addicted yet. One too many drinks tonight & I miss you like you were mine.
-Sara Bareilles, Come Round Soon
6. Where are we? What the hell is going on? The dust has only just begun to fall. Crop circles in the carpet; sinking, feeling...
-Imogen Heap, Hide & Seek
7. Comparisons are easily done once you've had a taste of perfection. Like an apple hanging from a tree, I picked the ripest one; I still got the seed.
-Katy Perry, Thinking of You
8. I hung up the phone tonight, something happened for the first time deep inside; it was a rush, what a rush. Cause the possibility that you would ever feel the same way about me, is just too much, just too much.
-David Archuleta, Crush
9. I don't wanna be the one to say goodbye, but I will, I will, I will. I don't wanna sit on the pavement while you fly, but I will, I will, oh yes I will.
-Ingrid Michaelson, Maybe
10. I woke up long after dawn, 20 years had come & gone. I knew when it changed for me, a day in June you came to me. I've seen through someone else's eyes, nothing on the other side. Every motel, every town, pieces scattered all around.
-Brandi Carlile, Caroline