run away with me.

I am so pissed right now.

Coming home from college should be fun. Shouldn't it?

But it isn't.

It sucks.

Everyone else always has plans to go places & do things and then I get stuck in this stupid house, sitting around, waiting for someone to talk to me online because there is NOTHING to do.

On top of that, I have the burden hanging over my head of making these damn props for the show.. and I despise doing stuff like this, but I am stuck doing it because apparently no one else wants to/can. (Someone please remind me never to volunteer to make props ever ever again.)

THEN, when the opportunity finally comes around for me to go somewhere for new years, my parents drag their feet and don't give me a straight answer as to whether or not I can go.. so then I assume they're going to say no and don't plan to be gone for 2 days, but THEN they ask me THE DAY BEFORE if I "still plan on going." uhmm WTF.

GUESS NOT.

THANKS.

-_-

So basically that means this "break" is going to be shit all the way through.

Also, I would like to make it publicly known that I have watched ALL Doctor Who Episodes (about 4.5 seasons when you add in all the specials) plus David Tennant's video diaries for all 4 seasons, AND the Doctor Who special of "The Weakest Link".. all in about 10 days.

I have also decided that David Tennant is my favorite actor.

And that I love the British a lot a lot and would like to visit the UK for an extended period of time.. like spend a summer there or something. (Maybe after I graduate??)

Also, I ordered Billie Piper's autobiography today.

I don't care if any or all of that makes me a geek.

In other news, I have decided to spend the summer either in NYC doing an internship or studying abroad, or both, depending on the length of said commitments.

That would be amazinggg.

I need to start living life more like Rose Tyler.

When there is nothing left at home, go out and do something. Travel. Help people.

..sadly, there is no TARDIS or Doctor in sight. But hey, I can deal..

right?

lol.

ps everyone should go to youtube RIGHT NOW and watch David Tennant host 'Never Mind the Buzzocks' =]]

i love the british. :)

This is quite possibly the most wonderful DVD special feature ever- DAVID

TENNANT'S VIDEO DIARIES!! Whoever thought up this brilliant idea

should win a prize. I. LOVE. IT.

The best parts of that video up there are when they're hiding in the car during the

night shoot (starts about 4 minutes in)...

David Tennnant: The Doctor Who regulars hide in their burrow..

Catherine Tate: & sometimes they give us hot chocolate with the added protein of a

baked bean!!

Billie Piper: (referring to John Barrowman) I thought it was a terrorist!!!!

<3

wilf and the doctor.

Wilf: I'll watch out for you, sir.
Doctor: You can't ever tell her!
Wilf: No, no - but every night, Doctor, when it gets dark, and the stars come out, I'll look up on her behalf. I'll look up at the sky, and think of you.
Doctor: Thank you.

<3

the year is almost over. dude.

1.What did you do in 2009 that you'd never done before?

uhh.. Rent? goodness idk. lots of things.. and yet really not a lot. i mean, i did meet stacy london.. that was new!

2. Did you keep your New Year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

dont think i made any

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?:

nope

4. Did anyone close to you die?:

nope

5. What countries did you visit?:

no countries.. buh. i have NEVER been out of the country but i REALLYYYYY want to be able to go visit jamie in England over spring break!

6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?:

a man in my life. and more self control. aka no more procrastination.

7. What dates from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?:

i have no idea.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?:

surviving the past 2 semesters. learning A LOT about myself. rearranging my priorities. and.. i finally am starting to get that whole self-esteem thing thanks to a certain miss stacy london :)

9. What was your biggest failure?:

not spending as much time on schoolwork as i should have, as always.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?:

WELL.. i dont think i was sick much in the winter/spring.. or summer.. but i definitely had a cold for like OVER a month this fall. and busted my leg on that damn phone thing from RENT.

11. What was the best thing you bought?:(was bought for you)

tickets to Next to Normal.. and to see Stacy. :)

12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?:

bahaha this is a ridiculous question. lots! the behaviors of people like NICKI always merit celebration when I finally see them after not seeing them for a long time! :D

13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?:

a certain person who i thought was my friend.. and a certain other (2) people who used to be my friends and now are apparently not, which was not my choice by any means.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?:

MEETING STACY LONDON AND SEEING BERNADETTE PETERS IN CONCERT and being in Children of Eden and stage managing Rent.

16. What songs will always remind you of 2009?:

Kate Voegele stuff, Katy Perry's 'Waking up in Vegas', Rent stuff..

17. Compared to this time last year, are you: i) ...happier or sadder?:

i would say its about equal

ii) thinner or fatter?:

fatter, with my luck

iii) richer or poorer?:

poorer...

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?:

been true to myself.. ish.. like, believed in myself more and not blamed myself for the choices of others

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?:

uh.. less.. procrastinating, laziness.. less fear and more putting myself out there. i need to stop fearing change and learn to take risks.

20. How will you be spending Christmas?:

christmas was today!! & i spent it here with my parents.. and then renee & charles came over.. & then i went to jamie's for a bit.. now im watching Doctor Who :)

22. Did you fall in love in 2009?:

unfortunately not. i need a man. i spose i have fallen in love with the Mr. Rochester from the 2006 movie though. and DAVID TENNANT as the 10th doctor!! :D

23. How many one night stands?:

ZERO. i ain't no ho!!

24. What were your favourite TV programs?:

ones i have been addicted to this year... What not to Wear, The Facts of Life.. and most recently, DOCTOR WHO! OMG. <3>

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?:

i dont hate people.

26. What was the best book you read?:

i dont even remember what i have read this year.. lol. havent had much time for leisure reading, i must say. over the summer i was trying to continue reading Candide & Son of A Witch though. both i like.. but the latter has yet to draw me in like the normal McGuire novels do.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?:

Kate Voegele, Imogen Heap... and Lady Gaga I guess?? OH and the Avetts. :D

28. What did you want and get?:

my NYC trip to meet Stacy & see N2N

29. What did you want and not get?:

a summer job or internship & a boyfriend. lol. that's pathetic.

30. What was your favourite film of this year?:

i have no idea. i havent seen enough to decide that.. although I will say "my sister's keeper" was not as good as it should've been.. "Julie & Julia" was great though!!

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?:

21... had class, homework, dinner with Jordi & Samantha, rehearsal, Coldstone with amazing people, and then I was up crazy late trying to study for an impossible test.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?:

uhmmmmm if i had met mr rochester (or david tennant) & fallen madly in love and was swept off my feet to a storybook romance (or a tardis) ;]

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?:

uhmm wear what flatters you & is classy. :) STACY LONDON!

34. What kept you sane?:

Jesus!! & my lovely friends. :)

35.Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?:

hm. Lisa Whelchel, Bernadette Peters, Stacy London, and DAVID TENNANT.

36. What political issue stirred you the most?:

i'm over it with politics. we will never save ourselves from ourselves (as Jamie would say)

37. Who did you miss?: Nicki, Kelsey, Catherine...

38. Who was the best new person you met?:

the lovely ladies of 2nd floor joyner!! & the lovely cast of Rent!! & the lovely cast of Children of Eden!! & the lovely miss Sarah Dempsey!! <3>

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009:

sometimes those tough choices you make, after you have failed everyone, turn out to be the best decisions in the end.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:

basically all the lyrics to all the Kate Voegele songs.

41. What was your favourite moment of the year?

watching Sarah play WoW during Broadway Melodies, lenoir meals with Taylor, staying up super late on New Year's with Leigh & Erin (Ewin) & Jamie talking to Leslie & 'Petey2008' on blogtv. being a frog in Children of Eden with Todd. castle adventures over the summer with Ewin & Taylor & Jamie. carpet time with Leigh. sharing bagels with Jordi. Dinners with Jordi & Samantha. fouton bonding with Erin (not ewin). lots more. :)

42. What was your least favourite moment of the year?

uhmmm the stressful times. and the emo times.

43. Where were you when 2009 began?

my house.

44. Who were you with?

Leigh, Ewin, Jamie, parents.

45. Where will you be when 2009 ends?

Erin's house i hope??

46. Who will you be with when 2009 ends?

Erin, Leigh, Kat, Tara... whoever else comes.. if i can go.

47. What was your favourite month of 2009?

i tend not to choose favorite months

48. Did you drink a lot of alcohol in 2009?

not AT ALL. lol.

49. Did you do a lot of drugs in 2009?

none of the bad kind.

50. How many people did you sleep with in 2009?

again, not a ho.

51. Did you do anything you are ashamed of this year?

ummmmm.. no doubt. but i cant recall any specifics at the mo.

52. What was the worst lie someone told you in 2009?

lies with actions hurt worse than lies with words...

53. Did you treat somebody badly in 2009?

i tried not to

54. Did somebody treat you badly in 2009?

mhmmm. ps where is 55??

56. How much money did you spend in 2009?

far too much im sure

57. If you could go back in time to any moment of 2009 and change what?

idk.

58. What are your plans for 2010?

school, Cats, school, perhaps NYC for summer??????, then another semester.. and hopefully another show!

where's your spirit of adventure, eh?

Bucket List

1. read all those books on the huge list that Catherine made, as well as all the books I have sitting on my shelves that I have been meaning to read & never got around to.

2. Meet David Tennant.. and therein,

2.5. WORK WITH David Tennant (I can't even deal with how incredible his acting is, and I need to be present while the magic happens. at least once.) ..and therein,

3. Kiss/get kissed by David Tennant (just like on the cheek or something- DON'T JUDGE ME!!)

4. write a book

5. write a historical fiction piece about Madame de Pompadour

6. learn more about french history (& Russian history)

7. write fanfics for: Dr Who, Will & Grace, Friends, The Facts of Life, Gilmore Girls.

8. visit england, scotland, ireland, italy, france...

9. learn to play at least 1 legit song on the guitar and sing along with it

10. learn to play at least 1 legit (preferably classic/classical) song on the piano

11. Raise a child

12. fall in love, for real.

13. Teach Jordi's kids all the words to 'Party in the USA'

14. have enough money so that i no longer have to worry about it

15. eradicate my wardrobe of all crap clothes so that all i own is actually worthy of being worn.

16. acquire an outfit identical to the one worn by Rose Tyler in the series 2 Doctor Who finale- complete with light purple fingerless gloves. (also that black leather jacket she wears is ballin & i want one)

17. additionally, acquire a blue Rose Tyler leather jacket

18. meet Stacy London more than once more

19. meet everyone on me "who i'd like to meet list"

20. dye my hair

21. live in NYC

22. become more scientifically minded

23. get reading glasses

24. acquire a pair of plaid pajama pants

25. see one of my stories come to life

26. acquire a very long, soft, multi-colored scarf like the one worn by Rose Tyler on S1 Ep11 of DW. :)

27. get coffee with Billie Piper

28. live in London

29. acquire an EPIC photo collection from all over the world

30. become a hardcore "biblical scholar"

31. memorize all quotes I find awesome and then be able to recite them like a smart person

32. get all the people I love dearly into one room at some point. literally like, one room. of happy. :)

33. SWIM WITH DOLPHINS.

34. perfect my british accent

35. meet an elephant

36. send an inspiring message in a bottle

37. feel completely happy and free and beautiful in my own skin

38. see a huge waterfall

39. spontaneously kiss someone I find extremely attractive..just out of the blue...for fun ;)

40. ride in a hot air balloon

41. visit Jerusalem

42. spend some time with children in Africa

43. spend a day sailing

44. watch the sun set and then stay up all night to watch it rise

45. spend a day in Agloe, New York.

46. see the northern lights

47. take a midnight walk on the beach with someone amazing

48. re-enact (& film) all my favorite scenes from TV shows & monologues from plays

49. write a song

50. run away with someone I love (temporarily of course)

ok, this might be all, or i might add more. but yay.

<3

no day but today

I have been reading the blog of Steve Schalchlin for over three years now. He was supposed to die many years ago. He has aids. And he is surving it.

I just thought this was worth mentioning.

This guy inspires me. :)

his old blog is here:

http://www.bonusround.com/diarytoc.html

& new one is here:

http://bonusroundblog.blogspot.com/

that's all.

<3

get me out of here.

GUHHHHHH.

Woke up later today than I had planned,

got a late start on my english exam studying,

still haven't finished that,

which means I probably won't get to start my afam paper,

which means I won't get to work on my sound cues,

which means I will be stressed through the entire play this evening,

which means I will be even more stressed when I get back tonight/tomorrow....

BUH

why am i SO incapable of sticking to a plan & staying on task!??!

i hate this.

exam week sucks.

i love this. so true!

"A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ….
enough money within her control to move out
and rent a place of her own even if she never wants
to or needs to…
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ….
something perfect to wear if the employer or date of her
dreams wants to see her in an hour…
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE …
a youth she’s content to leave behind….
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ….
a past juicy enough that she’s looking forward to
retelling it in her old age….
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE …..
a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black
lace bra…
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ….
one friend who always makes her laugh… and one who
lets her cry…
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ….
a good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone
else in her family…
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ….
eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems, and a
recipe for a meal that will make her guests feel honored…
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ….
a feeling of control over her destiny…
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
how to fall in love without losing herself..
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
HOW TO QUIT A JOB,
BREAK UP WITH A LOVER,
AND CONFRONT A FRIEND WITHOUT RUINING THE FRIENDSHIP…
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
when to try harder… and WHEN TO WALK AWAY…
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
that she can’t change the length of her calves,
the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents..
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
that her childhood may not have been perfect…but it’s over…
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
what she would and wouldn’t do for love or more…
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
how to live alone… even if she doesn’t like it…
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
whom she can trust,
whom she can’t,
and why she shouldn’t
take it personally…
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
where to go…
be it to her best friend’s kitchen table…
or a charming inn in the woods…
when her soul needs soothing…
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
what she can and can’t accomplish in a day…
a month…and a year…”

—	Pamela Redmond Satran

i'm a free bitch baby.

mehehehe. Lady Gaga is cool.

And part of me feels like I am blogging right now to appease my roommate, who was probably expecting me to do so. haha.

I am so over itttttt.

Not my roommate.

I love her a lot.

I'm over it, almost to the point of hilarity, with BITCHES.

I have been letting the curse words fly lately.

AND I DONT GIVE A FUCK. :D

Here is basically all I need to say:

to the person in question,

you are a fucking asshole, and contrary to the "talent" you display on camera, quite a good actress. i think it is pathetic and immature and downright stupid that you feel the need to avoid conflict so much so that you will be a completely different person around me than you evidently are around others. you are the stereotype- pretty girls are bitches- congrats. and i hope youre not like this to everyone because people who like you do not deserve to take your shit. grow some balls and just be who you wanna be.

get the fuck over yourself.

you aint that damn special.

ha.

was that too harsh?

whatev.

all i can say is.. well..thewillofdc says it best via twitter:

I can't control others words actions or emotions, only My own and at end of day I need to be proud of mine. And I am/will be.

<3

peace.