by the way...

fuck you.

& when you look that way, it makes me wanna cry.

I love you.
I love you with all my heart and soul.
I want to scratch your back when you sit in front of me.
I want to hold your hand when you walk beside me.
I want to be the person you go to when you need help.
I want to hug you at random moments.
I just want to be there beside you.
You had me at hello. People like you make it seem so effortless.
I am so stupid. But I expect it, and enjoy it.
And maybe, one day, I will find my Will.

-----------

Then there's you... sir.
What is wrong with me?
I am in love with everything about you.
You seriously have the ideal personality of anyone I would ever want to be with.
Why?!?! Why you?!?!
WHY does this have to be so damn complicated?!?
Honestly, this situation could not be any worse.
Though.. perhaps you're not meant for me... but even then, I would still love a chance.
I NEED someone like you.
I NEED YOU.
And I hate that about myself.
argh.

whether i like it or not

You might just be the ONE person I have liked, maybe even loved, all along; and the one I would never be able to even begin to tell about it.

You make me happy, and even though you're kind of toxic, I'm still fighting.

You'll never love me like I love you.

Either way- I will not be completely happy.

I am starting to enjoy your company.

Maybe I need to keep searching...

Be still & know

I need to take some time out for God.
I need to be still and know..
Tomorrow is Easter.. the day the Lord Jesus Christ rose from the dead, after paying for our sins, allowing the New Covenant to be established so that we, I, would have the chance to live eternally with Him in Paradise.

This week is going to be absolutely ridiculous.
So, tomorrow, Easter, Resurrection Day, I will sit outside... and be still... and read His word... and talk to Him... and rejoice in the beauty of nature, and the glory of His love.

<3

tell me that you need me

It's like I don't know how to describe you anymore. Are you my friend, or aren't you? Do you care, or don't you? If you wanted to see me, you would have. But you haven't, so obviously you don't care.... So why do I care??! Why the FUCK does it matter to me when you obviously don't give a shit?!? Maybe its because you pretended.... to the point of extremity... you made it seem like I mattered. And now I am no one to you. But I still care. Because apparently I am an idiot.

Its sad how people we know become people we knew.. how you can walk right past someone and pretend they were never a big part of your life...

Its like we are slowly fading away from each other.. And I think we are both pretending that we're still really close, but we are obviously not. But, to be honest, I think we can bring it back. Because there is no one there to replace you.

I am on the dark side of the moon.
I am not the same person I was two years ago.
I am learning, growing, experiencing.

Life is amazing. Jesus is amazing.

I need to make dinner plans for tonight...